here i am...

sooooo, we're back. and have been for almost a week. i swear, the day i woke up, here, at home, i fell into a light depression.....sigh. i was so tired.
so the third day home, corey walks into the kitchen from work. i was just putting the finishing touches on dinner, and he says," you look.................. guilty."
and i thought about it for a moment, and realized, hahahaha, that i WAS feeling guilty! big points go the observant husband. so i told him, " i SO am, cause, here i am, with my children, whom i missed, cooking dinner, back into our routine, and ALL i can think about? going back........".

and the funny/weird thing? i am one of the most patient people you will ever meet. i am not bragging, just stating a truth. nothing gets to me. or so very rarely as to be almost never.....
but
it was hard coming back.
isn't that the most awful thing?
my kids were all competing, trying to tell me about their week, and i just felt trapped and impatient inside. couldn't WAIT until their bedtime... when i could breath a sigh of relief. adn that lasted for 5 days!!!!!!  !
it wasn't that i didn't want to listen or hear all they had to say.............. it was just......i felt like i was being pulled in so many directions. and mexico was NOT quiet. it was noisy.... and fun. and busy.....
for 10 days, i did what i wanted. no,........ mama! mama? maaaamaaaa..... i'm hungry. i need this for school. i'm tired. can i watch this....
i didn't even realize it until i got home....

so it took some adjusting.... totally caught me off guard. couldn't believe it. only confessed to one person.

this, THIS was what i wanted back. the peace, and simplicity of it......

so now that i'm over my............... i don't even know what to call it. momentary lapse that lasted 5 days.....
i will post some photos.. it was amazing there. the beauty balanced with poverty....  such a different way of life. the only way to survive it? acceptance and non-judgement....

thanks for reading.....

sorry it took me so long.....