a note from the every day

Jan 21, and my Christmas tree is still up ...

2012-01-21T10:32:00.001-08:00

so many things going on... i am finally legally separated. its not what people think it will be. it's not a relief or a celebration. there is a moment. a moment where you feel like the ties binding your wrists have loosened a little. you have a moment of hope, hope you'll be free. then reality blows through like a whisper. it's not over. not even close. it doesn't come as a shock, because you were expecting that. and you realize it's ok. you know. this isn't your first experience with time. time, the conquering hero ... so you settle in, and begin accepting. you start to plan. it does not define your life... only you can do that. and my life as a whole, is really good. i have what matters... it feels productive, its a hope all its own. your dreams may be put on hold, but they haven't disappeared.

so you look around. i can clean, i can paint. i can go to the gym. enjoy my family. make memories while i'm putting things into perspective... into their place. finding balance. i can enjoy the man i am in love with. he brings me laughter and heals me.

so, you start your day, fresh, productive. making phone calls. no one can see that you are shaking so hard on the inside as you finally take responsibility for your life, for the first time ever really, at the age of 35...

then, your mother has a small stroke one day, that strikes fear into a place so deep inside of you... just when you convince yourself it was an anomaly, a chance happening, you wake up the next morning to another phone call. it's happening again nichole, what do i do, i'm scared.... and that tentative strength starts to crumble. your X makes an appearance in your life, via email, or phone. and the anger and hatred you are trying so valiantly not to let win peeks through. then you have to make a judgment call that will disappoint the most important people in your life. and its the final straw for your oldest. the one closest to your heart. you hold him, allow him his feelings and his questions... and then you break his heart as gently as you can... and hold onto him, while his body shakes and jerks with his tears, his arms wrapped so tightly around you, so he isn't alone as he is forever changed. and as you hold him, you wonder what this will mean for his future. how it will affect him as a teen, as an adult. you have some guilt, cause you knew when you chose this path, it would hurt them. you've seen how much they've changed in the last year... but you choose to trust yourself. you trust in the love you have for them because it's so absolute. has never waivered. you must steer them in the right direction... this gives you pause, because in this moment, you are terrified.

then you read your oldest child's school project, he's only 11... and his goal is to stop his "bad habits', habits brought on by fear and stress, by his world being shifted under him. he asks his sister what her goal is... she wants to not be so behind in school, made to feel less and dumb, which confuses her, because she knows how smart she always was. she has always been told she is the sunshine in the room... she has lost her confidence, what once made her shine... and your youngest, 7 years old... so independent. his goal is to stop wetting his bed. you can't even explain the deep ache inside of you, it's crippling... but you take a deep breath and let it out. because you know it was right. in the end, before the end, it will be better for them. you chose this path. and you believe in this path. so you will shield and protect them, and give then the strength and skills to survive. and you hope that their goals for next year will be what they once were: to be able to morph into any animal, even imaginary ones, to have 6 ponies one of them a unicorn, and to be a zombie when he grows up.

i smile through my tears. i remember them. even though they are lost right now, those 3 children, i remember them!

you are strong enough. you know you are. you have to be, so you will be. but you want, for a moment, to be wrapped in arms so strong, arms that just by their warmth alone, confirm to you that you are all that is strength and beauty. you are enough. you are not alone.

i don't want to find the old me... that woman, the one everyone admired and thought had it all together. she was just running and coping. she wasn't happy or fulfilled. she had no direction. she had no meaning in her life. she was unhappy and scared, and felt worthless. i will find, create, nurture a new, balanced me. i'll let her develop on her own. with time. and love. and i'll learn to trust her.

it's a start...

2011-02-15T16:13:00.000-08:00

so i don't love it.... would love to do more justice to that photo... but, i scrapped. actually sat down and put elements to paper... and it calmed me... helped me focus... made me smile.... and really, isn't that the point?

my goal.... to do things, find things that make me smile... daily...

credits: FeiFei stuff

*new* highlighted frames
sublime elements/papers
plum autumn watercolour
FeiFei/ Joyce Paul, family ties metal swirls
FeiFei /Joyce serendipity overlay
Taylormade offset wire words

anyone out there??

2011-01-30T12:21:00.000-08:00

hahaha... could be asking the same about me..
i find when life is good and somewhat superficial... i am a good blogger... when i am up and not disappointing anyone... i am a good blogger..
so obviously... life has taken a turn for me for a long time now...

so much has happened... is it easier to journal knowing people are reading? no...
does it sometimes feel pointless when they aren't ... yes.

quite the conundrum....

it's been a year for me... since i have felt anywhere near myself... and longer since i have found joy in photography or scrapbooking...
so, i am a little unsure of what i am feeling right now… but, if i had to name it? acceptance.

in april, i realized something was just off. i mean, i’ve gone through phases before, we all have. but i just couldn’t seem to kick this one… the indifference, the complete and total lack of caring about anything… i've even stopped disliking making lunches and the mundane task of cleaning…
and the insomnia…. sigh. that’s been the worst. i finally drift off around 1am, only to fall into nightmares so intense, i wake up gasping… or with tears streaming down my face… they’re more like night terrors… only i’m conscious of them… and always at 3 am… 2:56, 3:17…. i thought, i’d better start documenting it… so back at the end of june i started a sleep journal… finally went to the doc in september…

clinical depression. sigh….

i have a hormonal imbalance… which causes the exact sleep pattern i have. and one of the only ways to balance oneself out?? sleep. it’s almost funny isn’t it?? ironic…. so she gave me sleeping pills… with a stern word of caution… they are addictive, even the so called ‘non-addictive’ ones. and of course, if i get addicted, then i won’t be able to sleep without them…. sigh sigh sigh!!!!

so, over the last 6 months or so, i have found myself chasing adrenaline… my fear being, if i give in… will i get stuck? will indifference become a routine a pattern that i can’t live without? will i even recognize normalcy when it comes back? or will it cause me panic? realistically, can a person sustain limbo, a levitation of the mind, so to speak. is it a balancing act… conscious… if not, what happens if it all comes falling down… or worse, what happens if a person becomes familiar with or reliant on suspension….? these are the questions chasing themselves through my mind these days…

for someone who is most comfortable when they are in control… or at least have a handle or grasp on things… it has been very uncomfortable to say the least.

i refused to take medication... it takes longer, but i felt it was better for all concerned if i was not medicated, but tried to regulate my hormones nautrally through sleep, and excercise... and routine... it's starting to pass. i can feel it... it's like breathing in that first breath of spring after a long winter... you know the day i'm talking about... you just finally give into winter, knowing you really can't do anything about it... forget spring is coming... and just start living your days... then one day, you are on your way to pick the kids up from school, or getting out of your vehicle to go into your favorite coffee house, and it hits you... that smell!!! wonderful... promising ...

that is my favorite day of the year...

its coming.... i can feel it....

there is sunshine outside my window today, and i am going to enjoy it... take my camera and watch the children build a snow man... it's the simple things isn't it?

hope you are all enjoying some sunshine or promise today....

canNOT live without it…?

2010-10-05T06:18:00.001-07:00

so after long and hard thought... i have 2. and they are somewhat connected... i need an emotional connection in my life.. and i need hope. it is essential to my... well being? sense of self... my day to day. i flounder without either one of those things....

an emotional connection: i need to be seen. for who and what i am.. sometimes, just to feel connected to someone else.. other times for validation... so my worst fears about myself aren't confirmed... i am not an emotional person... i feel deeply... one of my strengths is empathy... but… as for everyday emotions..? i just don't feel them the way other people do... i am very rarely moved to tears.. and the one thing that does bring me to tears? well, that would be truth... seeing it, hearing it... you know when your child does something so.... raw...

we were driving the other day, and justin was looking thoughtful...and... embarrassed. it was really cute. so i was sitting there, absorbing the emotions chasing themselves across his face and body.. HE really feels. he feels with everything in him... and he asks me... " mama? do you know how much i love to feel special? is that why you always tell me about the things about me that are special? the things that make me different from everyone else? "

it was soo sooooo adorable, and vulnerable, trusting... and... honest... i had to gulp back both laughter and tears when i answered him...

now, emotional connection for me... well. huh. so, i'm married. have been for 14.5 years now... i love him... i look at him sometimes, and i know i can spend the rest of my life beside him... we are best friends... we share a love for our children... but the emotional connection i am talking about? i don't really share that with him... yes i know. GASP! how can she write that?? hahaha. cause it's true. and i am nothing if not truthful...

it's more of a .... knowledge... a bond. knowing i can share anything with someone. and no matter what it is... acceptance is.... inevitable..

no judgement.. instead, the result..? closeness. i know there are things i can never tell corey... he is incapable of 'seeing'.. or understanding... and that doesn't make him, 'wrong' for me... it makes him who he is.. and i accept our relationship with and for it's limitations....

those people, those 'soul connections', they come and go in your life.. and in those times when i have felt that lack in my life... i lose my connection with a deep part of myself....

hope. sigh.... hope... i have spent 2 years running away from myself... why? in fear... fear that the hope i once had will be missing if i take a close look. lack of hope inspires a terror in me SO deep...

hope for what? it doesn't matter. it's just that feeling, that knowledge of hope itself... if you've ever lived without it... you'd understand... there was a time when i was little... i remember clearly that feeling... hopelessness... then i met this girl... her name was stacey... we bonded immediately...

we were just better together... it's funny, cause i remember, we didn't speak much.. but we held hands everywhere we went... somehow we both knew the other shared in our secret pain.. and it was just that much more bearable... i loved her... so much that it still overwhelms me to remember her... and when her family moved away... our connection remained with me... i get so attached... i watch my isabella... she is the same... she gets attached. she doesn't need the day to day connection to remain close to someone. once they are in her heart, there is this acceptance that they are there to stay.... i am much the same way...

and so there it is… my 2 essentials…

they’re late, hahaha, but i have a good excuse! i had no computer for close to 6 weeks!!

here’s to hoping we can start that blogging inspiration back up again… work out a few kinks… and vwala!

TFL…!!!

wall of expression…

2010-08-27T19:45:00.001-07:00

so this is kind of what i had in mind… i took 169 photos! hahaha. then i deleted a bunch, ended up with 50 that i loooove. but only maybe 3 or so that i may actually use… but the shoot itself? sooo much fun. she had a great time… didn’t want it to end…

so, i don’t have the editing quite right yet. i mean, i think they are adorable… but, they haven’t

‘caught’ me yet. ya know? anyway. tiny preview…. can’t wait to take more…

TFL!!!

pebble in my path….

2010-08-25T13:36:00.001-07:00

life for me right now is overwhelming…. which makes me a little mad… mostly at myself…. i’m not a wimp. I AM NOT A WIMP. i’m, like, in control… ALL the time…and i’m wondering if that’s what’s going on….but then, you know, i was all in a mood a couple months ago, why? well. the EXACT opposite. i felt like i could live my life with my eyes closed… i felt like the tazmanian devil… spinning like a hurricane through life… then when i would stop and try to relate to the people in my life… i felt like no one understood…. like i was talking and they were looking at me and all they heard was….. bluggablublablabam……… it was soo frustrating….. so i quit. just stopped. pulled out.

so here i am, in mid life crisis mode… that’s what i’m calling it. cause i am at a loss. don’t know what else to call it. and i’m depressed. not sad, crying all the time depressed, but in this bubble of indifference……

i get up in the morning, and think….ugh. go into the bathroom, look at the shower, and think uuuugh. and then…. i have to feed my kids breakfast which means the start of a ‘day in the life of’ is beginning, and i just want to go back to bed…. which in turn makes me angry, cause i don’t want to go to bed!!!

i am looking for meaning… which is so stupid and selfish, and did i say stupid?? i have so much… a good life. filled with meaning… and purpose. so maybe i need to rediscover the meaning, or the why….

it all happened at the tail end of april. i got home from mexico and realized i did not want to be here… in my life. i wanted something more challenging…. i wanted to feel a rush. i wanted to feel…. i didn’t even care what i felt. i would have welcomed tears or anger…. just wanted to feel.

no! it happened before that. a good 2 years ago… i went through a major, devastating, life changing trauma… and since then i have been reacting…. and i think i buried myself under my reactions… under the me i pulled out to cope… and now. i am trying to dig under and find her again…. the old me… the one who used to get excited over the little things. the me who used to be so easily moved to laughter…….. the me who used to love willingly and wholeheartedly…. the one who jumped in… no matter what… not measuring every move i made…….

so now. i am here. walking down the path that is my life. and i looked down…. and there is this little pebble. in my minds eye, it’s nothing special. it’s a small, slightly irregularly shaped pebble. i could bend over and pick it up, but that would require too much effort. i could kick it…again, too much effort… i could just step over it!!!! but it has become disabling…. the choice of what to do about this pebble….. my indecision…. i have come to a stand still. and i realize, if anyone looked down the path and saw me, standing still, nothing visible in my way, struggling… confusion would rain. and that, my friends, makes me feel all the more helpless.

so. what am i going to do?

i have been thinking, september is coming. i will have no choice but to join my life again, but i don’t want to just fall back in line. i want to be excited. i want to jump in. i want to anticipate boxing and belly dancing with my former passion….. i want to throw a halloween party to rival the one i had last year… i want to reconnect with my friends again….. i want to want to scrap again……sigh….. i want to be who i used to be…. how to do that. how to recapture my passions….

so. i am going to take on projects. projects designed to bring out my…… passions. joy. even just satisfaction… something i can look at that’s out of the ‘norm’. and be proud of…. i am going to create that wall. i want to do expressions. mainly because i feel like a mask, with no expression lately… i am going to capture: laughter, mischief, embarrassment, a simple smile, an ‘i love you’ face, pride… and it won’t be easy… which i look forward to. and then i am going to print and mount them… i am going to paint. my family room first… so i can create my wall. and i will get to take photos… which i love. and guess what? i am starting to look forward to it….

so this was my take on our first topic….

and hey…. thanks for reading this… my heart on virtual paper.

solutions/collaboration

2010-08-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

ok. so, i wrote last time how i wanted to blog, but haven’t for many reasons… fear, lack of what to say… to name a couple. but i miss blogging. i miss sharing… i miss the connection that writing and reading blogs gave me.

so i was talking with leah, and we’re in the same spot, as i imagine many of us are… have been, or will be…

these little pocket stages…. of contentedness, melancholy, happiness, all the ups and downs and nowhere’s….. frustrations, disappointments, indifference… sigh………

the times when your dying to write and share, and the times when you content not to…..

so we thought we’d blog together… come up with themes, things we are feeling or thinking about… and want to ‘talk’ about… then we’d come up with a title, the same title and theme, but blog individually.. even include a photo. one that captures the essence of what we’re feeling? it gives us support and motivation to do something we both want to do, which is blog. with honesty, and reality. i’m looking forward to it….

our hopes are that maybe… more people will join us.. like a ‘blog club’… heehee. i’m already coming out of my slump. amazing what friendship, and common interests, and support can do…..

sooo, wednesday is going to be our first post… possibly every wednesday… not sure yet…

i hope you’ll read, crossing my fingers you’ll relate…. double crossing them with my eyes squeezed shut tight.. that you’ll join us…

i'm going to try

2010-08-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

so, i've done some thinking and soul searching this summer.... not sure of the outcome yet... but i do know i want to blog...
i think, my not blogging has a lot to do with not knowing how much to share... you know, we go through things, and instead of sharing.. we just don't post at all. or at least i do. i have a hard time getting in touch with my surface when i am experiencing life in the deep... sigh. and it's not anything life threatening, or my marriage or anything like that... just self discovery i guess...

but blogging in and of itself is something i love... i love reading everyone's blogs... which i do faithfully. don't or can't always comment. but i appreciate the trouble everyone goes to writing and posting photos and layouts... i immerse myself in everyone's lives... and feel... full.

so here's to trying! hahahaha.

i have a project in the making... i am going to create a wall of expression in my family room.... going to take photos of the kids. just their faces in as many expressions as i can... then mount them... all in B/W. i think it will be really cool. i'm hoping anyway....

so i've been playing around with editing. it's fun, frustrating, confusing, overwhelming... hahahaha. i love it!

more later... some faces heehee. i'm not much for flowers and things. but it was still fun....

and thanks for reading....

Creative Suite

2010-06-19T19:27:00.000-07:00

finally got it onto my computer with the help of a friend! so now i have photoshop agan!! it has been forEVER
pse 6 hasn't been working on my computer since the beginning of november at least, if not earlier!

at first i thought, i'd take a break, then i have to day it, i kind of lost interest somewhat....

BUT, then, new comp, + CS and i feel rejeuvenated.... now i just have to re-aquaint myself with it, take some photos! and wooohoooo!

so i went wandering through some lo's today and was getting all antsy....

can a person lose their touch do you think?? hahaha. we'll just have to see. i make light of it, but it is a worry..

oh well. off to prepare food for tomorrow's journey... taking an afternoon with friends, going on an adventure in the ancient rainforest... gonna be fun...

frustrating....

2010-06-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

i had forgotten how frustrating it was to reconfigure a new computer... my computer concked out on me weeks ago.... so i bought a new one today... e-mail is what is driving me nuts! i live for e-mail, and only a few come in every now and then.... and i cna't install it on this computer.. why you ask?? weeell, because the one i use isn't compatable with windows 7.... ARGH!!

so here i am trying my little heart out. i haven't read a blog in weeks!!!!!

ok. i vented.

on the upside..... the new computer? is going to be crazy amazing... can you believe i turned down a MAC?
yep. did some research and chose this one....

anyway. i have lots to share, but since i don't have my camera software installed on here yet..... it will have to wait...

almost there.....

soon

For Today....

2010-05-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Outside my window... sunshine.... blue sky, fluffy white clouds that make me feel sooo small

I am thinking... too much apparently *smile*

I am thankful for... an early spring which brings the outings that keep me sane

I am wearing... tank top, shorts.... hair twisted up... and make-up!

I am remembering... what it was like not knowing.....

I am going... out to buy supplies for my latest 'fetish'....... boxing!

I am currently reading... without mercy, lisa jackson

I am hoping... for this week to go slowly......

On my mind... that this quote rings so true for me.........become more and more innocent, less knowledgeable and more child-like. take life as fun- because that's precisely what it is!" -osho-
so why am i running from it???

Noticing that... it's almost time for me to go out.. meet a friend

Pondering these words... "if you play, you play for keeps."

From the kitchen... homeade waffles for breakfast this morning and the laughter and giggles that accompanied them.....

Around the house... tidying.... the little things

One of my favorite things~ friends, campfires, children running down pathways laughing out loud....

From my picture journal...

i had the BEST conversation this morning.....EVER!

2010-05-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

ok, so i'm on the phone this morning...... seriously?? the funniest thing ever!

so my friend and i are discussing the 'art' of different crafts. like photography, for instance, and how love and passion and knowledge, and just plain "getting it", make such a huge difference. The way one person takes a photo SOOC, and brings on emotion, the someone else tkes the same photo, adds.....texture, changes it entirely, and yet it STILL provokes emotion.... amazing really.

now, we're women, right? so multi-tasking, isn't something you consider, or indulge in, it's instinctive, so when her and i get on the phone we often clean our houses top to bottom.

** you really need to try it. find someone you can call 3-5 times a week and talk about everything from children to mother-in-laws, other bitchy school mom's, your passion for colour or all things handmade, your feelings of illogical guilt, to the most annoying postion your husband likes to have sex.
it's freeing and stimulating, and best of all??? your house gets spotless and it's FEELS effortless. **

so, we're chatting this particular morning, and said friend realizes she hasn't mown her lawn in a while. *smile*

- do you mind??

- absolutely not!!! we've vacummed together...what's the constant hum of a lawnmore?

so she asks her 'significant other', ok, let's call it what it is, moronic husband! to watch the baby....

huh? what? ummmmm.....
then i hear silence, and i swear to you, i have never met him, but i could see the look on his face.

"alright, that's ok', she says to me, 'that's fine, i can do this. BUT, the rest of HIS day????? so NOT gonna be good."

needless to say, her, her 4 year old son, the baby in the exersaucer, all pile out into the yard.....

so we resume our chatter.....and i hear....'oh crap'..... i have to move the trampoline.....

THAT'S IT!!! YOU HAVE TO GO AND GET YOUR CAMERA!!!!!
GO!
NOW!
YES I'M SERIOUS!!!
you need to document a day in the life of .....something like this cannot be wasted...
man drives by, sees this beautiful woman, with 2 children, pushing a lawnmore, flipping and dragging a cord as she goes, with her head tilted at an angle, why? he wonders to himself, so he looks closer, and realizes she's got a phone tucked into her shoulder..... of all the!!!!

now, would you like to SEE what this girls morning looked like???? i know i do......

http://lockhartfamily1.blogspot.com/

tell her i said...... SHE'S AWESOME!!!!!

here i am...

2010-05-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

sooooo, we're back. and have been for almost a week. i swear, the day i woke up, here, at home, i fell into a light depression.....sigh. i was so tired.
so the third day home, corey walks into the kitchen from work. i was just putting the finishing touches on dinner, and he says," you look.................. guilty."
and i thought about it for a moment, and realized, hahahaha, that i WAS feeling guilty! big points go the observant husband. so i told him, " i SO am, cause, here i am, with my children, whom i missed, cooking dinner, back into our routine, and ALL i can think about? going back........".

and the funny/weird thing? i am one of the most patient people you will ever meet. i am not bragging, just stating a truth. nothing gets to me. or so very rarely as to be almost never.....
but
it was hard coming back.
isn't that the most awful thing?
my kids were all competing, trying to tell me about their week, and i just felt trapped and impatient inside. couldn't WAIT until their bedtime... when i could breath a sigh of relief. adn that lasted for 5 days!!!!!! !
it wasn't that i didn't want to listen or hear all they had to say.............. it was just......i felt like i was being pulled in so many directions. and mexico was NOT quiet. it was noisy.... and fun. and busy.....
for 10 days, i did what i wanted. no,........ mama! mama? maaaamaaaa..... i'm hungry. i need this for school. i'm tired. can i watch this....
i didn't even realize it until i got home....

so it took some adjusting.... totally caught me off guard. couldn't believe it. only confessed to one person.

this, THIS was what i wanted back. the peace, and simplicity of it......

so now that i'm over my............... i don't even know what to call it. momentary lapse that lasted 5 days.....
i will post some photos.. it was amazing there. the beauty balanced with poverty.... such a different way of life. the only way to survive it? acceptance and non-judgement....

thanks for reading.....

sorry it took me so long.....

M E X I C O

2010-04-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

so a year and a half ago, we got invited to a wedding. this year. middle of april. 2 weeks. in mexico!

so we started saving. and it's here! we were just saying how fast it all went! anyways. we aren't taking the kids. which is mostly alright. nana is coming to watch them, and i'm almost totally ok with that. i have spent the last 2 months preparing them. get up, get cereal, brush their hair and teeth. all the 'morning' stuff, without having to be asked. and they have their own chores now, and know when to do their homework, what time they each go to bed. it's been good. they are sooooo good. no complaints. instead they are proud of themselves, knowing that i trust them enough to do it all on their own! hahahahahaha

Justin said to me in the middle of it all,

mama? THANK YOU for trusting us!

what do you mean baby?

for trusting us to do all these things by ourselves! your the best mom ever!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

poor thing!

so i have booked a few events for us already.... we are going to go on this canopy tour, which has zip lines 360 feet up, 1650 feet long! its a whole day thing with hours of hiking! rapelling down a waterfall........i am so excited and a day trip, snorkeling with turtles and manta rays! then this rhythyms of the night cruise, dinner dancing and a show.

it looks amazing. i can't wait. i have almost everything i need.

i went out last week and literally bought an entire new summer wardrobe. AND it was fun! for years i have hated shopping! but i got a bunch of really cute little dresses and skirts.

now, all i need is a swimsuit. eeeeeeeeeeeek!

it me!................ nichole. (sheepish smile)

2010-04-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

so..
i've been here. trying to suppress my OCD. seriously! hahaha. i usually get it under control, but then i f i get stressed at all, or even just start giving in to old patterns, i have to check myself.
for example, i bought this steam cleaner. and i got the ingenious idea to sanitize my counters and kitchen table! i have 6 of the cloths for it now. so i labelled them, you know, bathroom, entrance floor, kitchen floors.
but the problem is, on the day i steam, the counters make me feel......... relaxed. content. by the next day, i can still touch the counters, but, i always pause first. by day 3? forget it! i wipe them, well how many times a day does a person have to wipe kitchen counters. 10? at least! but i still can't touch them. so out comes the steamer.
sigh............................. it's work, mental work that feels physical, to know that steaming the counters doesn't actually make things....... smooth. it wouldn't be so bad if it was just the counters. but i tend to get that way about everything. my floors, organizing.... just everything. and watch out if there is only one utensil in the sink, or a cup! (shudder)
i'm not sure if what i just said makes sense. i feel like everything will just be ok if i can keep everything 'just right'. and it ends up consuming me. so in recent years, ever since i found Justin lining up his dry cheerios just so, when he was 18 months, before he could eat them. it was so cute. you know, in a crazy kind of way.

what brought this up?

well. the other day i was making coffee. i have a tea drawer. and in it is all my boxes lines up, splenda packets, stirring sticks, yadayada. i didn't even realize i have a system.
plug in kettle
take out cup (one of 2)
open drawer, get coffee pack (starbucks VIA packs, heehee)
close drawer
pour in cup
take packaging to garbage
open drawer, get splenda pack
close drawer
pour in cup
take packaging to garbage

you get it...

and justin was lying on the kitchen floor watching me, and he says;
mama.... do you ever get that feeling, ...... like you need to stretch or something, when something isn't right?
so i asked him to give me an example
well, just now, you didn't close the drawer after you took your coffee out and my jaw felt like it was too tight.

sigh......... my poor poor baby. well, at least i know now it's genetic right?!

thank God for self awareness.

ok. so photos. been awile huh? i think the problem is, i take photos all the time. for me. or to document. but they just don't seem 'worthy' of uploading...... (big sigh)
but

.............sigh...........

sleeping in my bed.

early morning.

corey was in whistler.

i couldn't help myself. just look at that mouth of his!

soooooooooo cute!

he's holding his winnie the pooh. it reminds me he still my baby.

this.

you have no idea how i felt when i came into the kitchen to witness this!

what a struggle it's been this year to build up this girls confidence in herself. she wouldn't read but because she didn't think she could.

why?

a self absorbed, careless grade one teacher

a sweet looking 6 year old female bully

this is EVERY saturday morning.

they get up, take their blankets and pillows, get EVERY SINGLE toy they own, i swear, and sit together in a circle and play.... for hours!

it just dawned on me that i might want to document it! duh!

ok. off to............... nope! NOT GONNA CLEAN! i think i'll take the kids for a long walk. and just ...
breathe.

FINALLY

2010-03-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

so, i finally finished my book, and it's in the mail!

wow. what a pain. the book itself was not hard to make. i have a great system down for making albums. in fact, i have 2 more full, huge, albums, just waiting to be uploaded and printed.... heehee. i loooooove albums!

but this one? i made it 4 times! in 4 different sizes! sigh.... i had an idea. i wanted a 5x8 little hardcover. but blurb? it was crazy how hard it was to figure out, so i gave up. and i don't say that lightly. it was after i downloaded 2 different programs!!!! they have great prices, but when you can't upload??? argh!

and my staples here will print you a 8.5 x 11 hardcover...which is great!!! but, the cover is black. that's it, black. soooooooo
i went to shutterfly. tried, tested and true. a little pricey, but the quality is soooo worth it.

and it's in the mail! how awesome is that? i went to the gallery to view my project..... but you can't read it!
oh well. so i thought i would post a few pages here if you'd like..

oh and get this...... NO PHOTOS!! never thought in a million years i would make a photo book without photos. but i gotta say, i love it.

yea, so there are a couple pages.... can't wait!

credits go to...... 3 fabulous designers... maybe you've heard of them?? heeheehee
Paislee Press, Adorned papers, Labelled frames and masks
Taylormade and FeiFei Small talk word art...

TFS

Greatest idea.....EVER! !!

2010-03-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

so i am sitting here trying to scrap...sigh. not going well. see, on my computer, ( and in numerous little booklets) i have 'things you say' notes. all the cute, not so cute, funny, incomprehensible and lovable things my kids have said over the years. and i thought....ALBUM! just a really simple album documenting it all.
5 x 7, cause i loooove little harcovers, and i think it would just be the cutest thing EVER to have.... i imagine myself years from now, having forgotten it all, being able to look through it and laugh. and maybe compare it to 'them' now. so i went through my stuff and found these...!

perfect right??
anyway. so this is what i have come up with so far.

i hope you can read them... i have 12 pages done so far. all of them B/W, but then the last two i did using Paislee Press and FeiFei's collab embrace... and now i don't know if i'm going to keep it AS simple....

what do you think?

how cute is he??

2010-02-26T20:02:00.000-08:00

mama? can i play plahdoh?

not until we clean up a little, then you can play while mama washes the floors....

(5 mins later)

i'm not gonna ask....about, you know..... if i can....you know, play with the..... cause you'll get mad if i ask... right?

Laaaaach...!

i know.

(another 5 min passes)

ummmmm, i'm bored... but i'm not gonna ask if i can play with the.... you know. buuuuuut..... if i could play with it, right now... i'd want to play with the green. but i won't ask, cause you'll get mad..... right?

(starting to get the picture?)

mama?

WHAT!

if you ask to play plahdoh, you will not be playing with it for a week. do you understand me??

so now, what would you like to ask me?

ummm, i wasn't gonna ask if i could play pladoh.... i was gonna ask if you would get mad at me if i ask if i can play pladoh... not if i could play playdoh

but i don't wanna play playdoh anymore...... can i colour??

but he's sure cute....

did i mention my husband is gone, away...... to the olympics....... for a month?!!!!!!!!!!
this is my first night, and yes, i am enjoying it already. it's 8 here. the kids have been sleeping for an hour.. and guess what? i can do whatever i want! sigh..... it is sooo nice. although a month is a long time... but i think i'll be good. what am i talking about!?! i know i'll be good! heehee

i'll have to tell you about our list..... we have this, " you have my permission to sleep with ______ if the opportunity presents itself, and get away with it scott free, " list. of course it's made up of A list celebrities.... he's got: kate beckinsale, angelina jolie, rachel mcadams.... and the list goes on....... so he's going to whistler and one of his top 3 is there! hahaha. it was sooo funny! he said, what do you think my chances are?? i said...ooooh, about one in a bazillion... "YEEES! so you think I have a chance!" hahahahahaha i wished him luck this morning.. lucky bum, he's gets to go skiing, and watch the olympics and it's all paid for!!! he should have a great time..
see, everybody wins!

anyway....

off to do a little more housework, read and then get ready for moving around 'rooms' tomorrow. i have a bunch of projects i want to get done this month..... can't wait.
i'll try to be a better blogger........ well, one can hope right??

tfl

i'm here, i'm here, i'm still here......

2010-02-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

i AM still here.. just busy and trying to keep up.
actually, a friend and i were doing our usual bout of complaining on the phone last week about housework... then she said GROUNDHOG DAY! i don't know if you've seen the movie, to be honest, i haven't, but i know what it's about.... and he gets up every morning and relives the same day...can't even kill himself if i remember correctly??
anyway, last week i spent 5 days tidying up so i could vacuum..... but each day i'd go to vacuum, realize i needed to tidy first and on it went!!!!!!!!!
sigh.... but c'est la vie!

haven't taken many photos... just toooo darn busy. doing what? nothing other than the everyday... but i guess it's the added stress in my mind that makes it seem like more?? i dunno.

OH! found the funniest book ever!!! it is soo not my 'type' of book, but for some odd reason, i just wanted to read it.... now, you may go and get it and find i have a wacked out sense of humour, but this book! it's killing me! it's called The Marriage Diaries, by Rebecca Campbell. i guess there are supposed to be some teary parts... but i have yet to find any! hahahaha. anyway. LOVING it.
it's a difficult read, witty, intelligent and honest. i will be sorry when i am done it.... i'll even admit, geek that i am, i've been underlining parts of it........ i'm such a nerd! drawing it out, trying to make it last.......

and i have heard so much about this Ken Follet... so i went out and bought a book of his called World Without End.... it's HUGE, which has me salivating! i want to read it, but at the same time i want to put it off so it doesn't go to fast.... it's the anticipation..... i love it! actually speaking of which... in the book i am currently reading, the marriage diaries, they are both kind of 'flirting' with the idea of having an affair... and he admits to his friends... he doesn't want an 'actual affair', but wants it to come to that moment, the one where you look at eachother, and know, and you start to lean in toward eachother, your mouths open slightly, your eyes begin to close, your belly tightens.... and that's where he wants it to end.... stupid right? cause how does it just 'end' there.... but OH i so wish that was possible! sigh, cause that really truly is the best part, the time, or moment BEFORE the mess of reality.... ok, so that was a little off topic, hahaha.

and Justin is reading up a storm. he is right at the tail end of the second book in the Percy Jackson series.... you know the lightening thief.. i LOOOOVE that he is a reader... all my kids will be of course, but i am enjoing this time with him right now... corey laughs at us every evening, snuggled in my bed together, each totally absorbed in our books! hahaha. i have 5 different series ready for him... hmmmm. and don't get me started on the books i have already collected for Bella in anticipation of HER love of reading.... yep. i have issues. i don't just love reading, i love books! the smell, the feel, the limitless vastness of what they can offer....

ok. off to read....

why can't all good books be 3000 pages....

hopefully i'll be back soon with photos, and maybe, gasp, scrap pages???? my designers have such wonderful things coming out, and here i am unable to get 'into' the scrapping mode. i wish i could put together a page in half and hour to an hour..... but i am not wired that way.......... gotta figure it out...

oh and if you have any good suggestions on books or authors.... i am so open to hearing them... nothing better than discovering a new author....

be warned: very photo intensive post!!!

2010-02-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

so, i'm home from vegas.... and recovered from no sleep! i'm used to no sleep. i usually get a good 4 hours at night, which is not bad really.... but i don't walk for 18 hours a day here... you should have seen my poor blistered feet. but it was worth it!
i had a good time... it was really something to see and not at all what i expected. which was a good thing. so here are some photos of vegas..

and then the sun rose, high above the clouds...

this is the Excaliber, Bella's favourite! hahaha.

this is NewYork NewYork, in the day and night... is this not the coolest thing ever??? i don't know how they made this hotel/casino look like a bunch of buildings, but wow!

this happened when i was trying to show jen how to take a photo... and i liked it

if you can believe it, these next 2 shots are IN the mall!!! to be honest, i don't remember which one. EVERY hotel is a hotel/casino/city/mall unto itself

yep. that's a penis. jsut happened to turn around and... you guessed it, gasped!

this was funny, cause i actually gasped and covered my mouth... coupla people laughed at me, but that's nothing new....heehee

i loved this little guy.....

that's all. not very exciting i regret to say.....

thanks for looking...

guess what??

2010-01-24T16:57:00.000-08:00

in13 hours................

I AM LEAVING ON A GIRLS ONLY TRIP TO VEGAS !!!!!!

any advice? suggestions?? i think i am going to make a list of things to do when i get there,... you know, the kinds of things you can't tell once you get back?!!!!! *wink wink*

hahahaha. and i am going to take a load of photos!!!! i am starting to get excited!

so, see you when i get back..... i haven't even packed yet..and we're off to supper out! oh well.... it's not like i need much right?

XXXX OOOO

must...... relieve....... stress

2010-01-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

is there anything more suited to relieving stress than rearranging your house?? i have so much going on that i'm losing focus... or maybe it's not all i have going on, as much as lacking my routine... but belly dancing starts tomorrow.... thank God! and then life flies from there. Vegas in one week, dance festival the first week of march, wedding in mexico in april...... party on a private island with wonderful friends in?? when was that Maria?? LOL!!
SO, i have decided to completely turn my house upside down.... hahaha
i moved my 'scrap area', back upstairs off of my kitchen.... it feels SOOOO good. now i can play around and reorganize... set up shelves.... i'm loving it...
then, isabella decided "I need my OWN space and time to just BE by myself..." so, i am giving her her own bedroom... we have 6 bedrooms in this house, and all 3 of my children are in the same room... haha. and up until this week, they all loved it. but, sigh, little miss needs her space..... soooo freaking cute!

i have been dying to create a 'girly' room..... watch out! i am almost scared of what is going to happen over the next few months as we start collecting for her room!!!!!!!

AND i bought a sanitizer/steamer!! i had to clean my entire house of course, so i could do my floors!
right?? heehee
and then i got the awesome idea.... if i can sanitize my floors... why not my counters and tabletops too??!!!
it is just the best feeling!! i know i'm crazy... but there it is... it just relieves my stress bit time when things are clean enough to eat off of!

and i was reading leah's blog, Canadian Eh? and came across a photo of my own that i can't toss even though it is decidedly 'less than perfect'....

it is sooo blurry.... but........

these kids of mine, they break my heart every time i look at them

OH!!! and i ordered a costume off of the net for dance festival and the show.... i'll be wearing it for 3 dances i think?? anyway... I lOOOOve it! but i haven't gotten it yet.... can't wait...

sigh...... 50 yeards of material...... it's reversible... black underneath.... did i mention i can't wait to get it?????

sigh.... my kids are growing up

2010-01-12T09:33:00.000-08:00

so this morning, i woke up SO dizzy!! but i can't complain, cause last tues morning i was dizzier and spent from 7am to 3:16, throwing up. yes i remember the time exactly! ugh!
but so far, just really dizzy....

so, i had to wake corey up this morning just before 8 cause i just couldn't do it.....

our routine in the morning, well for me it starts the night before. i go and get all their clothes for the day and set them out for morning... then bring up back packs and lunch kits....

so i wake isabella up first and toss her in the shower, then while i'm blow drying her hair, justin showers... then they get dressed, have breakfast and we chat away while i make their lunches. brush their teeth, grab some toys/books to play with at recess, coats, boots, backpacks, then out the door. 2 mornings a week, we stop at starbucks on the way for kids hot chocolates. the mornings flow and feel good cause we're all so used to our routine. i really enjoy that quiet time with them...
it's hard to explain, but i love mornings here........

but THIS morning, ugh!!!! corey is useless. i don't mean to be harsh, but he was driving me nuts! it didn't help either that i'm so nauseaus, but i mean COME ON!!!
he's like, so what do i have to do?? ummm, don't worry about their shower, just feed them breakfast... but of course, he has no idea what 'their' cereals are... OR what they have for lunch... or that they have planners that need to be signed..... or that they like to ask miscellaneaous questions while they eat.... so he was getting all impatient and almost yelling at them to hurry up..... so they were getting upset!
and there i am listening to it all...... grrr. it just felt like chaos.....

but my bella, sigh... she really shone this morning... she quickly realized what was happening and how out of his depth corey was, so she started 'directing traffic. she told justin to get them all breakfast, she went and brushed her own hair (which is quite a chore) then (poor baby) she packed her own lunch AND justins,(justin didn't need one this morning, cause he has a doc app before lunch, but i was NOT going to burst her bubble...) and then...... and then...... my sweet little darling girl, made me tea..... she is sooooo, i am at a loss for words. she is thoughtful, and sweet, generous! and very perceptive.... and loving... the boys listen to her as if her word is law.... she seems to have almost as much authority in this house as i do... she is such a calming influence here..... i am just so very, overwhelmingly thankful for her.....

so anyway, their off, and all is well again.... he and i are going to have to have a talk, cause i'm going to vegas for a week, and he is going to have to 'be me' for a week!!! and OH! i don't want to think of it right now!
he is such a good dad... so it was a little sobering to realize how little he really knows about them and their routines and their days, and just how they function over all... for both of us... AND that was only the morning... i shudder when i think of after school stuff, supper, and bedtime!!! here's to hoping it will be good for him.

actually, isn't it funny how advanced we are... i mean of course, the old days, it was the women who did everything, but now we consider ourselves enlightened. men help... yada yada. and yet, this morning i realized, it really hasn't changed that much at all... has it?

if you really think about it, could your husband just step into YOUR shoes one morning, last minute..............

i'm back..... not just here......

2010-01-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

i mean in life too. i checked out for a little while there. it was a tough fall for me. i kinda checked out cause there was just too much going on. and a lot of it was self generated so i could avoid..... well, 'things'. but i have come out the other side.

SO,

we went to calgary for christmas... and i got NO photos at all. my mil's living has no light whatsoever! it was a little frustrating. but no biggie. so i took photos on the way home.... driving through the mountains was just unbelievable. and of course, we couldn't pull over everytime or we would have lost pole position! hahaha. so i would roll down my window and sit on the edge while driving at 120 km's an hour... yep! it was cold and my photos are somewhat blurry.... but it was exhilarating! and made me laugh out loud!! i guess for the sheer freedom of it! so, well worth it!

here are some photos..... it was a silent as it was still......

so i thought the 'lines' of this was pretty cool...

this was the road... see, totally deserted, it was beautiful

then we were right on the edge of a sheer drop which was incredible

couldn't believe this one was not totally blurry. i somehow 'caught' an inside peek.... and just thought of how a place like this in the summer would have people and laughter, children running around, but in the winter, it was isolated and pure....

frozen waterfall, which i looooove.

this was an avalanche just waiting to happen.

this was the hardest thing ever to capture... i took SO many photos, and this was the least blurry. i loved the reflection of the trees int he water. and the 'monotone' colour scheme......

close up of the frozen waterfall. and the coolest thing about it, that couldn't quite capture, was the blue colour!!! just amazing....

so my favorite thing about the drive... the 'frosted' trees. they looked like mini wheats! hahaha.

we were driving, and it was sooo silent.... and these trees, millions of them, were lining the highway... all frosted, all different, like snowflakes.... shapes, sizes. they were like 'silent spectators' watching us as we passed. passing judgement, all self righteous..... disaproving.... some maybe reserving judgement.... i don't know. but what i did notice, in the summer, their branches are all lifted, as though celebrating the sun and joy that is summer. but with the snow weighing down their branches, they looked down and reserved and silent.. as though waiting for... i don't know. it wasn't a 'bad' feeling. just a watchful, serious, speculative. waiting.... they were watiing, for someone, or something.....

i wish i had gotten at least one good photo, but it was impossible... sigh.......................................

but i will remember them and the emotion, the mood, if you will, i felt watching and being watched

So, yea. British Columbia, where i live. In the mountains.... the awe that is winter

i LOOOVE it.

ummmm....

2009-11-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

9am. i have just arrived home from dropping Justin and Isabella off at school.

Lachlan: mama? can i have a piece of cake?
Me: huh? what? honey, it's 9 in the morning
Lachlan: i know. it's too early.... but can i just have a small one?
Me: yep. ok.

so he's eating his cake....

L: oops! i forgot!! mama? would you like a bite?
M: hahaha, no baby, mama doesn't like cake
L: (drops his spoon) (stands up...) WHAT??? you don't like cake? how come?
M: i don't know baby, it's too sweet. and i don't like how it feels in my mouth.
L: oh yea... you never eat chocolate or candy..... cause it's sweet?
M: yep
L: but you love me, and you always call ME sweets..... ( with a puzzled frown)
M: (again laughing) i know sweets, but i don't have to eat YOU.....
L: did you like cake and chocolate and sweets when you were a lizard?
M: a what? when i was little????
L: noooo, when you were a lizard. ?

so there i am looking at him, my poor logical brain trying to unscramble that question... and before i could recover he says....
oooooh, THAT"S why you like wasabi and horseradish!! (nodded to himself and went back to his cake and colouring.....

i
wow
ok
so that was the start of what is going to be a very busy week for me. but a FUN busy week, filled with belly dancing and ringette...

cutie pie

gonna try and find some time to scrap that little tidbit. and a few other things these guys have said this last week. my Bella is in top form these days. She is not so tolerant of the whole 'boy' thing lately. she just can't understand some of the things they say and do, and she gets sooo exasperated! it is just the funniest thing.....

more often than not last week, i'd catch her walking and just shaking her head.......

i think i find MYSELF doing that often enough...... mostly, i guess, cause i married one of those 'boys'. heehee

until next time ladies....

just a little update on the busyness that is my life right now.....

2009-11-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

i'm still here... NOT sleeping! don't know why, must be some closet stress.
do you ever have a decision to make and you know the 'right' thing to do, but you REALLY don't want to do the 'right' thing????. sigh..... i have a problem. and i think i am not sleeping because of it..

and Justin's birthday is this sunday, then i have 4 belly dancing classes and 2 troupe meetings this week, then a fundraiser/bellydancing thing ( which i am enormously nervous about) friends are coming to watch and that freaks me out. Do you think it's weird to be *exposed* in front of a friends hubby?? cause it's kinda freakin me out!!
then i am having a party, yes, another one! hahaha
then we are going to calgary for christmas. Ack!! Christmas!!! another big party here, for New Years!!
then Vegas, then corey is going to be gone, in whistler for 6 weeks for the olympics... during which i have 3 out of town tournaments for Bella's ringette!!!
then off to mexico for a wedding!

someone save me! please??!!!

hmmmm, think i may know why i am not sleeping well.........

but i thought i would stop in, say hello, and give a little update....

questioning my sanity......

2009-11-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

ok, so funny story! ( in a poor nichole kind of way... *wink*)

I'm thinking of.....

Me: is it a thing or an animal?
Lach: Animal
Me: what does it start with?
Lach: b, a capital B
Me: what colour is it?
Lach: Black
Me: Does it have fur? or.... feathers?
Lach: nope
Me: Does it have anything on it's body at all?
Lach: yes, dots!
Me: does it live on land or water?
Lach: yes
Me: ok.... where does it live?
Lach: in the dark
Me: can it see at night?
Lach: no! it doesn't have any eyes!!
Me: can it fly?
Lach: it runs
Me: ( in desperation now..) can it sing????
Lach: no! hahaha, that would be silly.
(well of course it would!)

OK Lachlan, we give up... what is it honey?
har har har, i can't believe you didn't guess it!!! it's a Termite!

seriously?? first i get royal points for trying right?? and secondly,

do you see the contradiction here? the funniest thing is his laugh and giggle.
he really thinks he has a good thing going!!

that boy!!!
oh, and just in case you were thinking it was cute..... yea? well, we do
this EVERY night at supper! EVERY night!!! not so cute now huh?

Justin's favorite word right now......

2009-11-16T08:59:00.000-08:00

ok. so troupe was awesome... i joined. and there is a gig booked already for dec 13th. eeek! but that's ok, it will be fun, the women in it are great. and sandy, our teacher called everyone out! it was pretty funny. she told everyone, NO cattiness. she doesn't want a whole lot of 'female crap'. we are a troupe. one for all, all for one kinda stuff!!! hahahaha. but anyway. it was fun. seems like a nice small bunch of girls... so yea.

now on to the important stuff... these last 2 weeks in this house have been just hilarious!! Bella is giving the boys hell! she called (yelled) at them the other morning. to 'COME HERE RIGHT NOW' !!! then went on to say...... i am tired, just TIRED of wiping PEE of the seat!!! if i have to wipe PEE ONE more time.... there is going to be TROUBLE!!! right mama? tell them what you are going to do!
was it wrong of me to stare at her in complete shock, with laughter in my eyes, and i'm sure my lips were twitching. inside i was yelling, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!
and you know what my boys said ?? sorry bella, yes bella, sorry......
it was SO funny.

and justin's favorite word right now is delicious! so its, "mama, this is DELICIOUS!!, you make the best...
(whatever) say..chilli!! mama, are other mom's as good as you are at everything?? like cooking.. and dancing... and playing??? and the poor thing... he's serious!!!
LMAO!!!! sigh... i love that boy!!!

his hair is getting really long now.. i am loving it! i have already had the chat with him, cause we are going to calgary for christmas this year, corey's family is there. and they will make fun of him. tell him he has girl hair... do his friends call him names.... bla bla bla. and he is really sensitive. so i told him what to say.... and what i will say and do if i hear anyone making fun of him. he was worried that if i said something it might ruin christmas.... hahaha. i told him, not for us!!!! heehee.

OH, and guess what?? i am almost done my summer album!!!! it's 106 pages so far. and that's only the right side with the photos! i know, i know, but we had an awesome summer and i got so many good photos!! how to you choose just a few?? heehee. so now, i need to arrange them, decide if i want papers, then journal!
i know, lots of work left! but i'll get er done!
and then i'll show it off of course... can't wait to get THAT baby in the mail!

it's the little things......

2009-11-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

so, lately i have been feeling a little melancholy. like i'm an observer on the train of my own life. knowing it's passing me by, while i sit watching through the window.......

now, while i have been feeling rather disconnected, ALL these things have been happening to me.... it's so weird!!! so you all know i am still dancing of course! belly dancing.... and i was asked to be a part of a troupe. there are only 5 of them and they do a lot of the social events here in PG and in a few other cities and towns. ( like Edmonton, and Vancouver...) AND, our teacher, has asked me to be her.... what? understudy? she does solo's for weddings and anniversaries... and other things. and she would like someone else to do some, cause she is really busy. she is the largest belly dancing school in all of northern BC. sooooo. here i am with a couple of decisions to make... do i? or don't i? ugh!!!! but, they make money....... !!!

new hip scarf.. isn't it gorgeous?? don't you wanna take belly dancing now??

And PG has a pretty big Theatre, like stage plays... musicals..... and i was asked to audition for those.... ahhh! which would be so much fun. but the commitment..... and i am a 35 year old wife! mother of 3!! is this indulgent do you think??
why do these great things have to come now, while i am feeling out of sorts. and not only that, but things that require committment. of which i am phobic by the way. that is a closely guarded secret. everyone thinks i am so spontanaeous! they have no idea everything i do is very well thought out! hahaha. and that when i committ to something, i spend the remaining time until i have to do it, with a belly ache....

anyway.... enough about my little 'issues'.

Bella had a ringette tournament last weekend! it was soo cute. we so underestimate that girl! she is good, really good! she had a couple of 'complications'. she got body checked and fell to the ice. hahaha. remember, these girls are 8 and under! so anyway, her and i had a chat about being 'rough and tuff'. how it's ok. and if the girl pushes you, you push her back. if she takes the ring...... you take it back. so i think i created an animal! she went out there with a vengeance and even scored a goal!!! it was awesome. who knew you could get so involved in bunny ringette??!!!
thought i'd share a few photos....

ok. so there is 'EGGEN', yep, that's the ring..... IN THE NET!!!

and here is my girl, waiting for the pass.....

and there is the girl... heehee, who pushed Bella....

down she went..... but even funnier....

look how far she slid! yep, waaay over there. that was some push. is it any wonder i told here she could get down and dirty if she gets checked again?? hahahahaha

loving ringette right now!

until next time....

thanks for reading guys. i always love bouncing things off of you and the e-mails i get in response...!!!

Something interesting...

2009-11-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

So Liz (Paislee Press) has a question... and a survey.

dear digital scrapbooker: do you print your layouts?

so i went over and read and answered of course.... i thought it was a great question. Cause, no i don't print my lo's. I make albums, but they have been simple and more of a showcase of photo's rather than lo's. Why?
i think it's because the thought of trying to put together a cohesive set of lo's that blend is overwhelming. But you know what i thought.WHY? why does it have to blend?
wouldn't it be wonderful to print them all and look at how your style has changed... or how far you have come? i know i look at some of my first lo's and laugh at myself. but at the time i was so proud of myself and loved them. i like seeing my own growth, not just in composition, and photography, but in journaling and emotion....
so i am challenging myself to print some lo's.
i think i might print a few out at home, mainly to see the size. I'm thinking an 8x8 would be a nice size to have, but i worry that the photo's would be too small..... i guess we'll see

so head over there and share your thoughts on this, or any ideas you may have if you do print. or maybe you haven't printed because of money issues or time, BUT have a kick ass idea! if so, i know i would LOVE to hear it!!!!

http://paisleepress.blogspot.com/

thanks....

In celebration of iDSD... Digital Scrapbooking Day!!!

2009-11-03T20:32:00.000-08:00

Paislee Press has collaborated with Leora Sanford and THIS was the result!! IN GOOD COMPANY

In celebration of iDSD, the kit is 15% off thru Nov. 8th

a set of 4 quick pages is FREE when you purchase the kit.

Be sure to add both the kit and the quick pages set to your cart and the discount will automatically apply when you check out.

AND

new Presslines too!!!!!

no.15 FALL + LOVE

which are also on sale......

It's 30% off for until tomorrow, Nov. 4th at 1:00PM PST. After that you can still grab it at 15% off.

and this is what i did with both....

these 2 are the cutest, sweetest things in the world!! sigh.....

Liz has sales all week in honor of iDSD. so head over to her blog to check it out!

http://paisleepress.blogspot.com/

TFL.....

just a couple new lo's while i'm here.....

2009-10-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

this is new word art by SHAUI of FeiFeiStuff! love it!!!

and below are the new frames by Liz of Paislee Press

loving all of the stuff my designers are coming out with!!! don't you??

What happens in Vegas........ stays in Vegas Baby!!!!

2009-10-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

i have tried and tried to load a sound byte here from the radio station, but it continues to elude me, soooo, you will have to put up with me explaining it.....

ok, so a friend of mine totally bullied me in to putting in for a contest. it was a girls getaway to vegas for 4 days. and so i finally said yes. and we had to listen to the radio for 4 hours a day for 3 weeks! which, if you knew me, ugh!!!!! the radio drives me nuts. at least if i could tune it out, it wouldn't have been so bad. but of course i had to pay attention!
so anyway, Jen and i listened, and one day, we were on the phone actually making fun of and cursing the radio announcer dude. it was hilarious, when all of a sudden he says, Nichole Eggen and Jennifer Nesset.... you have 10 minutes and 13 seconds to call in. so i start freaking out.. and Jen YELLS at me to get off the phone and CALL THE RADIO STATION!!!!!!!!!!!!
so we do, and i start yapping to the guy about how, you won't EVEN believe it! we were JUST on the PHONE !!! like right when you called our names. like OH MY GOSH!! total bimbo! and the moron puts it on the radio! i was mortified... ok, it WAS funny... corey was driving and had to pull over... he was laughing so hard!
so i should tell you about corey. when i put in for this, he was like you had SO better not win or i will be SO mad!!!!! and he was at least 45% serious! it was funny. Jen and i bugged him for a couple weeks...
so we won 4 tickets to the hockey team here.

and then i guess, they choose from the, i don't know how many people, i think it was 600, but anyway, and call the winners at 7:20 on Monday, Oct. 19th. So the phone rings on monday morning at 7 am. and i looked over at corey, who popped one eye open and said....
"this is RIDICULOUS!!! that had BETTER be Peder!" now, what husband, i ask you, would rather his wife be getting a PHONE CALL from another MAN, at a time that is completely inappropriate, than have her win a contest?????!!! hahaha

so i answer and of course, i flipped out! which was funny after when i heard us on the radio, which they played ALL day long!

so just to bug corey, jen and i have been REALLY getting on his case. I was dancing in the kitchen and OH WAIT!!! i forgot to tell you the best part!!!! we are going to Vegas to see a Katy Perry concert!!! so i told corey to watch it on tv, cause that will be me, up on stage.... kissing Katy Perry during "i kissed a girl, and i liked it!" hahahaha. then watch the crowd, cause you'll see me dancing..... in my bikini....... on some huge dude's shoulders! bwahahahaha. he doesn't find it that funny, which is why....... IT'S HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

so that was my monday! not bad if i do say so!!!

so i'm hosting a pumkin carving, painting pumpkin pets, haunted house making, party this weekend, and i will post some photos!! that should be a lot of fun! i bought 12 pumpkins!! hahaha.

thanks for listening!!!!!

15 minute Storm....

2009-10-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

so i was sitting in my bedroom, computer on my lap, contemplating do i day dream... or do I scrap?? and the wind picks up and starts blowing like crazy!!! now i don't know about you, but a good storm makes me giddy and excited!!! so I look out my window, grabbed my camera and ran outside.
where i saw this...

see that dark?? well it started thundering and hailing!!! and then, this little window opens up and there was the brightest rainbow.....

and next thing i know, it's just gone! blue sky, really blue sky, and no storm.... well one can always hope right?

so i just thought i'd share... nothing else new, well not really anyway.......

some photos and lo's.....

2009-10-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

this photo.... made my jaw drop when i uploaded to my computer!!! sigh, don't you just love that??! when you get home and look at all you took that day, an come across a completely candid, beautiful moment?? and you SEE your child, there, in the photo. when you've captured some of her essence??

i have not scrapped this photo yet... i will of course, but sometimes you get that photo, and not just any lo will do...? well this is one of those photos for me..

and this one of her was adorable....

so............

un-self-conscious

unaware,

therin lies the simplicity

the beauty, of that which makes you, YOU

that which causes you to shine

heehee. well this of course had to be documented. little turd that he is...!

"daddy, can i have some nibs?

nope. mama just called you for bed

ok, that's alright. i'll just come and get some

when you are all sleeping.

that's what i always do..... "

WHAT ???

and well, this one... do you really need to ask....?
he is mine

i was reading Diana's blog, http://minimalscrap.blogspot.com/ , Dido Designs, and i saw this kit, and word art, and i absolutely could NOT resist... isn't it fabulous??? i love the paint splashes, and the general 'doodly 'artsyness' of it all......

a little peek into a mind tangent i had....

2009-10-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

this is a photo of me, on my 35th birthday!!! corey took it!!!! hahaha, so i was hamming it up a little bit!

so i was sitting here, reading Stephen King's book, Needful Things. i'm not sure if i will recommend it yet or not.. but damn, it's eery...
so one of the things that is really bothering me about this book is the owner of the store, who is obviously evil, although i haven't figured out yet who, or more likely 'what' he is, shakes everyone's hands. and every time he does, they have a strong unpleasant emotional reaction.
so my mind took off on a tangent, and my usual recourse is to follow it through, think huh, shake my head and get back to whatever it was i was doing..... but this time i thought, nope. i'm gonna blog it! and so here it is........
so i started thinking about touching.... and when the last time i shook someones hand was..... and how it felt.
yes, i'm married. so of course, i touch my husband and children a hundred times a day, so it's not touch itself, but..... i think when you've been married awhile, 13 years for me, being touched becomes an intimate thing. a boundary people don't cross. am i crazy?? ok, maybe i am meaning men....?

when i was younger, i was very touchy feely. always hugging, linking arms.... now it's just weird. so anyway, i digress. the other day, i took the kids and went for a hike with friends, and wanted a photo taken of myself and a friend, and i grabbed her and linked arms with her. and felt her stiffen up, then relax at the inevitability of it... heehee. so it's not just me....

but it's not me touching others that had me thinking, but others touching me.

you all remember how i almost died of, well soooo many emotions, last year, in the arms of my smoking hot salsa instructor!!! ( i still visit that every now and again.... * wink wink * )
and since then, only 2 other instances jumped out at me... both happened around 3 weeks ago..... and my response was rather conspicuous.

i was standing in the kitchen of friends before dinner, and we were discussing cold hands. yea, i know. haha
have me over for dinner, my conversation is very stimulating! heeheehahahahahaha

anyway. i am always hot, but my hands are almost always cool. and i reached out and grabbed *him* on the forearm. i swear, i swear!, he jumped. not from the coldness, but from the unexpected touch. and then we made eye contact, and 'something' was exchanged there. and it was weird. isn't that weird?????
but in reality, we are all used to being touched by our significant others and so when someone else, maybe even someone you are 'slightly' attracted to, touches you..... it's intimate.

and the other time, which is kind of burned in my memory.... in fact, when i think of it, i can still feel the warmth, and 'buzz' of it. i was at ringette, and old friends whom i haven't seen in a couple years walked in... and he made eye contact with me 3 times before recognizing me!!!! hahaha. then he came over and reached out for my hand, clasped it and took it in his other hand as well. and all i could think of was, how big and warm and firm and wonderful it felt......... sigh. LOL!!!! your thinking i am nuts for telling you this.......

now keep in mind, i am NOT a guy, so i am NOT thinking with my penis!!!!
in fact,writing that word just made me laugh....... hahaha. SO glad i am not a guy and don't have to think of or say that word often, or people would wonder what i was giggling about all the time.

so as i was saying.... touching, just regular handshake type touching, what was once something i did on a regular, offhand basis, has now become an intimate thing to me. yes, i will admit, this does make me sound very sheltered.... and you know what, as a married woman, i AM sheltered! i do not, and am not touched by men, EVER, let alone on a regular basis..... or EVER, heehee. and to be honest, i hadn't really thought of it, until this book, which is making a really big deal about this guy's handshake and the reactions to it...... like i'm not creeped out enough......

alright, your gonna have to share your thoughts this time, otherwise i am going to feel very foolish.... and weird, and vulnerable..... so dish girls.....
i don't need you to tell me about what intimate touching you have been doing!!! hahaha. just that i'm not squirrelly.

sigh....

Thanksgiving...

2009-10-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

so, it's Thanksgiving here in Canada.... and i spent ALL day slaving away in my kitchen.. No seriously!! we are having dinner at my mom's, and my brother's came down from Calgary... and we are having some friends join us as well.. so, i spent yesterday and today cooking. all arabic food. which is crazy time consuming...

so i am looking forward to it. the fun thing about family gatherings for me is, playing games after dinner. now the friends we invited do not play, or i should say, don't know how to play cards!!!! so that will be fun teaching them. and there is a game you need quite a few people to play.... and we can play it, cause there will be a bunch of us....

so i thought i would write a few things that i am thankful for.... cheesy, i know. and i am NOT usually sappy, but well, today i am in the mood.

i am thankful for friends, and i mean that in so many ways!! every friendship i have, 'feeds' my soul in some way. whether it's someone to listen to and empathize with me, or someone i can help or just listen to so they don't feel alone. or all my online friends, you wonderful ladies who let me peek into your lives through your blogs and the emotion and creativity you put into your scrapbook pages, and photographs....
i am thankful for laughter!!! i love to laugh. and so many things bring that out in me!
i am thankful that i am able to indulge in things that make me happy, like dancing, and scrapping, and running

wow, it's hard to get started, but once you do, you don't want to stop.... heehee. but i will. for now....

hope everyone has a wonderful weekend...

and heh you guys... thanks for all your positive feedback all the time!!!! i am both thankful and grateful to you for it!!!!

((((HUGS))))

I scrapped! I scrapped!

2009-10-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

so this is one of Justin's fav poses... why you ask? i have no idea. but i take out the camera and he does it, then we get down to serious business! hahaha. anyway, i thought i would take advantage of it, and be clever at the same time.....

i thought the ps. not to scale was clever! heehee

I love you this much! ps. not to scale

Feifei

Family Ties Paper

Full Bloom frame

Paislee Press

Splatter overlayed with FeiFei Plum Autumn paper

Chasing the Sun staples

Taylormade

Clearly Stuck tape

Jen Wilson

acrylic flower, heart, word art, grunge detail lines

it's that time of year again........

2009-10-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

It's Belly dancing time again!!! wooohoooo!!! it started on monday. and I am of course taking 2 classes a week and loving it!! it feeds my soul! you should so sign up.

here are 2 of my outfits.... and no, there is really no way I will take a photo of myself in these and psot them!!

ok, maybe a slight chance, heehee. but don't hold your breath!

this one is more spanish in style, but i got it because one of the choreographies we are learning for the show has a very latin feel to it and is incredible sexy......

and this one is just deliciously sweet and feminine..... and i feel soft and lovely in it. PLUS, i bought a new pink hip scarf..... so I had to have a little outfit to go with right?? hahahaha.

i'm also, on the other end of things... taking mixed martial arts classes. I start those next week, and i'm pretty sure i will just wear, you know, some black yoga pants and a tank! hahaha. imagine their faces if I showed up in the above gear??? almost worth it no?? so not as fun style wise, but i'm really hoping it will kick my butt.
although you remember bootcamp? well our instructor there is offering a kick ass kick class starting middle of october..... so i may switch.... cause she's mean and she rocks!! so yea, we'll see.
so exciting!!!!

so is anyone else taking anything?? i can't be the only one!!!!!!!

Emotionally exhausted..................

2009-09-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

hey ladies....
wow, this was a week for the books, and guess what? it's starting all over again. not a bad week by any means, but wow.
so we put Isabella in ringette. it's pretty much girls hockey.... kinda..... hahaha
why? sigh....... my baby doll, she was so confident... mothers would watch her and sigh, and ask me how i got her to be soo confident..... she is that little girl that everyone wants to be around, and watch. sometimes we go out, and people, strangers, can't help but touch her.... and then came grade one! and a burned out teacher! and other little girls!
ugh!!! they sucked all the confidence out of her. she was quiet, and emotionless at school, and would come home and cry her little heart out..... breaks your heart. you know what i mean of course, we mother's always
'feel' their pain. more really, because we know what's at the heart of it.
so I decided to take her little social life into my hands this summer. and I found her a friend.....
and i watched her bloom. it was beautiful....
and now grade 2 is starting..... and she's confident, radiant.... lovely.
but my fear was, once the 'drama' started surrounding her, she would be swallowed... so ringette.
it's funny how a family can work. the dynamic you take for granted. Justin is the centre of this house. Belly and Lach look to him for everything. We have been supporting him since he was little, soccer, baseball....
and now, now it's time for our family to recognize the need in Belly and surround her.. so she has become our centre. and this is what ringette is doing....
but, wow, what a commitment!!! i am enjoying it though. the social interaction alone is totally worth it.

and you all know that Lach started kindergarten this year. 2 weeks ago now. and everyone keeps telling me, with barely concealed glee, 'you are almost freeeeee!!!!!!' i'm not sure what that means exactly.. i know what they mean, duh! hahahaha. but do they know what they mean?
Lach goes to school from 12 to 2:30. that's 2.5 hours. what would you do?? scrap, read, just lay in your bed and daydream?? sigh... all WONDERFUL suggestions.... BUT, what would you do if you husband worked the kind of shifts that mine does, which means he had 4 of those afternoons off WITH me. have you ever been alone with your hubby, really alone..... when you actually don't have to think about your children? have you ever had them out of your mind all at the same time?? it's, it's like standing on a ship in the middle of the ocean during a crazy storm. your mind bounces around, your uncomfortable, your reasons for things change.
does anyone understand?? my thought patter usually goes like this:
get the kids up, take 2 to school.
get Lach dressed
run errands with Lach
wash him, put him for a nap (all the while having and unconscous ear tuned into him)
do whatever i want, clean, scrap, all the while listening to what he's doing, watching, colouring on!!!!!
then feed him lunch or a snack, take him out for fresh air, or read together, or go for a walk.... or or or, again, all with him in mind.
when they are in bed, you are tuned in, when they sleep, you are tuned in. when you are having........ 'relations' heehee, with your husband, you are tuned in!!!!!!!

so, do you know what to do when you have nothing to tune in too??? it's is sooooo sureal. i know i will adjust and enjoy the hell out of it. but in the mean time??? it's awkward having no buffer. Corey and i have this best friend thing going on. we are in tune, laugh alot, a lot of the same interests...... but i have to say, going out to lunch, just the 2 of us, no children..... i was babbling. i even had a 'moxie sized' margarita!! hahaha which put me out for the afternoon. yes, I slept!! how embarrassing!!! i never drink, that's the problem....! i never have issues talking...... and there i was babbling....... sigh.

so anyway, that's where i'm at. feeling exhausted, off centre, and awkward.

oh yea, and did i forget to mention, i caught the worst cold ever! my throat...... it's agonizing, and my face feels like it's being held in a vice! i never get sick!!!! you know the last time i got sick, was 6 years ago, i got bronchial pnemonia when I was pregnant with lachlan! hahaha so i guess i shouldn't complain... but if not to you, than who? heehee

on the down side, i am an emotional scrapper..... so i got nothing!!! amazing stuff to work with, and nothing!
it's almost enough to make you cry!

but, on the up side, heehee. WOW is my house clean, and all with minimal effort!! it's amazing how much less you have to clean when your kids are in school.

((((HUGS))))

here i am, this is me.......

2009-09-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

ok, so i thought this was an original thought, but it turns out, it wasn't mine. hahaha. a friend and i have been talking about this lately..... and this was mainly her idea...... i just got here, to post, first. lol! i have been thinking lately how....... hmmm, hard we are on oursleves. how we just don't give ourselves enough credit, for what we do. being mom's, wives, and maybe even more importantly women..... i know i don't. and there isn't a lot worse to me, than having my photo taken. i know, i hear that, and even agree with it, that one day your kids will be grown and there won't be a single photo of you with them. BUT i am talking more about, why we DON'T WANT to BE in the photo's themselves. i took the kids to the park the other day, and Justin wanted to take some photos of me. well, I thought, ummmmmmm, ok, i look pretty smokin today, heehee. so i let him have at it. and i get home and look at the photos, and wanted to cry!!! i am not this ugly!!! i can't be!!!!! we are our own worst critics, we make no allowances for ourselves....... it's funny, cause i realized, i still view myself as i was, when the world still revolved around me. **smile** in my minds eye, i am younger, thinner. I have less lines. i am alluring, confident..... i like who i am and how i look....... i am carefree. so when i see myself in a photo, i am shocked!! so i thought, screw it!!!!!! this is me. now. before i am thin again, older, and wiser. definitely more mature.....with laugh lines, why, because i laugh alot!!! that's not bad! with 'extra', all over really....... and wiser........ which i am proud of. i am proud of the choices i have made in life to be where i am now. not always happy or accepting really, but proud! i am proud that i carried 3 children and have the marks to prove it....ok, not really, but in theory! hahaha. so i thought, eeeek, i would post a few photos of myself. so here i am.......

and so there it is. didn't think i would have the courage to do this, but there it is..... i will regret it later! hahahahahaha

i'm off, have some winterizing i want to get done BEFORE winter actually sets in.........

TFL!

just another day........

2009-09-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

i've noticed lately that Lachlan, who by the way, starts kindergarten full time today!!!!!

(don't get too excited, full time is 5 aft a week. but still!!)

calls everything frickin.....

"mama, don't these frickin flies drive you nuts??"

"oh mama, look at all the frickin lady bugs on the window!!!"

"uh oh, the frickin flies are in the fridge mama....."

what?????? hahaha.

maybe i say that too much?? heehee especially when it comes to bugs...

" ok, Lach, big smile so I can see your missing tooth!!!! "

lachlan lost his very first tooth, FINALLY. i was starting to wonder........ hope you are all enjoying some time now that most of our children are in school. i remember when I was NOT looking forward to losing them to school!!! i loved being a stay at home mom of toddlers!!!! and then last year, i started feeling this independence. and realized i didn't love them any less because i was looking forward to having some time to do things that only I enjoy!!! so this is it, the last year. this will be my busiest year, cause i am back and forth, back and forth, but i am going to enjoy every minute of it, cause next year........ it's all me baby! embrace it all!!! that's what i think.... the changes, the business, the quiet...... the routine and noise of back to school. having kids over when your house is messy! hahaha. and so I leave you with this thought again... EMBRACE IT ALL LADIES!!!!!!!!

WARNING, this post in photo intensive...... hahahaha

2009-09-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

ok. so the story goes like this. i went out and bought a tent, yes a tent! on thursday night. after a friend of mine casually mentioned camping...... and then was like so excited i was hopping. and sure enough, my excitement was catchy and we went camping friday!!!! wooooot! now, Corey's story was a little different. HE told EVERYONE...... that he said, " now listen Princess, camping isn't walk in the park. there are no showers...... no lipstick......" HA, i proved him wrong. i brought lip gloss!!! Sheer Cherry no less! this was the sky almost the entire time we were there...

so we get there and there are blueberries EVERYwhere.... and the girls wanted to pick them and 'sell' them to us.

this is Bella, going through what I am calling her 'obnoxious' stage.... (please let it be over soon........."

this is Anja, Bella's best friend. They get along so well......... i love it. neither of them leads, so they had to work out a few kinks. and her mom and i think they did admirably!!! not one fight or squabble at all. amazing. and they were together 24/7......

and funnier yet, Anja is a total tomboy, and Bella is a girly girl..... so it's incredible watching them get along.

this little darling is Cara, Anja's sister and Lachlan's very best firend... isn't she darling?????

so this was their amazing lean to, "Blueberry Snack Shack" please don't call it anything else, or you will be told in no uncertain terms the 'right' name! hahahaha. so of course the girls dad, Peder, took it upon himself to build them this amazing castle of a BSS.

This is Peder. he's jen's husband, builder extrordinaire.... and my hubby's new friend!!!! i have no idea who has seen the movie 'i love you man, but it is hilarious. the gist is, a guy is on the hunt for a best firend. and so they go through what guys do. and one of them was nicknames...... oh brother. but the other day, corey called peder, pete the heat! bwahahahahaha. i laughed so hard. can men really be that stereotypical?????????

anyway, we are both really happy that they get along sooooo well.

and as you can see, Peder's awesomeness rubbed off on corey, cause LOOK!!! he is doing manual labour. I HAD to take a photo, cause no one would believe me otherwise.......

this is Lach. he's so cute..... he is such a trooper. never complaining, up for anything.... never bored.... he loved camping!!!!

and I thought he was wearing what I would think would be the perfect camping get up!!! not matching, layered up the ying yang!!!! at least i brought enough clothes that they were never dirty!!!! hahahaha

and my Justin..... he spent more time fishing and actually CATCHING fish, than he did anything else. such patience this boy had.......

here, i blew it up, you know, for those of you who find him just as irresistable as I do.........

your welcome!

and then a couple of 'set up' shots. me trying to be artsy fartsy! heehee.

but still, isn't it gorgeous??? and only half an hour from where we live........ i so can't wait for next year.....!

i played around with editting. and enjoyed it. not one of these photos is the same! which almost drove me nuts, cause i like uniformity.... but i wanted to play and what better time to do it??

so that was our trip. you got off easy, cause as you can imagine, i took a bazillion photos. ok, i think i covered almost everything.......

thanks for reading..........

xoxo

going camping...

2009-09-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

we are going camping. today. like in 4 hours. i am really excited and nervous at the same time. what will it be like ALL of us sleeping in the same tent. (i have issues...heehee. ) it's like packing or a trip. but i think i have everything, and seriously, it's only an hour away..... but, the other special thing about this weekend is, it's the long weekend. and we have, in 13 years of marriage, only ever done something with another couple............. ONCE! so this is a big deal. and the other time was a disaster!!! not for corey and i, but for our relationship with that couple. man, they were such sticks in the mud. all they wanted to do was get drunk...... who does that when there are zip lines to fly on, and mountain quad rides..... and on and on. anyway. the other 'girl' and i are really hoping our hubby's will come out of their shells. they like eachother, but are both kinda quiet, solitary guys. so we're thinking..... maybe..... with hours on end together...... ??? cross your fingers. and i am happy, cause i really like her. she is the first person with real potential of becoming a real friend. i don't have a lot of friends here..... this town.....ugh. i have moms i talk to all the time, we meet at the park and the kids play. or other women i can get together with, but it's like a here and there thing. not that friend you can call when you wanna go to a movie...... or just to chat. or when you need motivation, or she does, andso you start walking together daily.......... so this is nice, and fun, and nerve racking and exciting. i sound like a moron don't i? but it's true. its a big deal to me. before we did this RCMP thing, i was always surrounded by people. i had lots of close friends. and i still have them, but they have turned into e-mails and the occasional phone call. when we go to calgary, i visit. but heart to hearts....... no more. talking husbands...... and, eeeeek! sex! a distant thing of the past. sigh........ i have a best friend, but she's a phone friend. i wish we lived closer. but then again, i love the relationship we have now, and would hate for anything to change it....... she is so good for me. i am so glad i found her! ok, have to get off of here. i need to shower for the last time until.......ack! monday! hahahaha. i'd be lying if i said i haven't done it before, with the shower a room away! heehee but i have some last minute packing, and i still have to run out and pick up the boat and ice.... so i'll see you when we get back. thanks for listening.....

trying to change my blog up...

2009-08-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

changing my blog. but it's very frustrating!!!! I found some cool new templates, but they are so hard to work with. I can't add my gadgets and ... argh!! anyway, until I make a new header I put in a photo I took at the ancient forest about an hour from PG. it was beautiful there...... going to go back in sept or oct, i think, see what it looks like then! anyway, i'll figure it out. soon

In my defense.....

2009-08-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

I WILL get better about blogging, come september, when my kids are back in school (the 8th). it's just, we are always out, and when I get home....... ALL I want to do is this album I have started!! man they are so consuming. but if I don't let it consume me, it will never get done. I will share some pages soon. but now I am trying to lay them out, and I have a few photos eddited. but you know the part that is frustrating me???? arg!!!!! papers!!!!! sigh... I want it to flow, but read 25 % scrapping and 75 % photographs!! that is SUCH a hard balance to achieve! but there isn't much I love more than a challenge!! except maybe .......... dancing! ha, gotcha didn't I?? heehee oooooo, maybe a good laugh!! yes I LOOOOVE a good laugh!! thank goodness I make myself laugh a lot! and we all know Leah is pregnant, with a girl no less. sigh.... and just when I have FINally accepted that I will have no more children and can look at newborns with admiration instead of need........ Now, every store I go into, I am looking at newborn, girly clothes!!!!! and LOVING IT!!! Lachlan is 5! yes 5! going into kindergarten this year!!! you know, it's so weird, cause he is by far smarter than Justin and Isabella were at that age. He is more.....well everything. and yet, in my eyes, he is still a baby!! or, well, maybe not a baby, but little!!!!!!! and independent, and annoying, and a button pusher, and he laughs too much! yep, there it is, I said it. the boy laughs too much. even in his sleep..... every other night or so, you will hear giggling, and it's lachlan in the middle of some dream.... it's really really cute!! so, it will be interesting to see how it will FEEL on his first day of kindergarten....... I was the one mom who did not have tears in her eyes when either my first or second child started school. but, I feel a little tugging when I think of Lachlan starting this journey. he is more than able, and ready. in fact I feel for his teacher, the boy is way too smart...... and gentle, and sweet, a little shy. his feeling not easily hurt. he has a green mohawk, to match his beautiful green eyes....... but still, this tugging........ sigh.............. off to hike this new river we found, where the rock walls on either side go straight up, vertical!!!! so that should be interesting. I saw it from the highway while we were driving. and I think I saw a ??road?? that we can drive down... haha, more likely we will jsut park on the side of the highway. and i know there has to be a place where we can get to the water and then walk in it.... everything is so low here cause the the tremendous heat we have had since may!!!! yep, bragging. thank God, it's mostly black bears around here, cause grizzlies scare the crap out of me! so hopefully I won't be posting any blurry upside down photos with claws in them. and if I do, cross your fingers that ALL 3 of my children will be in FRONT of me!! bwahahahahahaha still laughing!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo nichole ps. I was sitting pondering and I wondered if there is anyone else who wishes they could go where everybody knows your name, and your always glad you came?? where your troubles are all the same?? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hmmmmm, would anyone, by chance, know the lyrics to the theme song from mash??

We're back.....

2009-08-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

came across a couple of really cute photos of Lachlan. Thought I'd share.....

So we're home. Short and sweet, just the way I like it. We went to Calgary for a visit, and we had a nice time. It was FREEZING!!!!! Like seriously freezing. But Papa jacked the outdoor pool up to 101 degrees, so the kids swam day and night. While we stood by the fire, wrapped in blankets, watching them!

I didn't take ANY photos at all. But that's alright, how many photos can you take of rain, and your breath. Yes, we could actually SEE our breath, it was that cold!

But I got all my shopping done! which was good, and I am happy about. There is absolutely no good shopping here. So mostly all the kids look the same! hahaha. And I am vain enough, that that drives me nuts! So they have a whole lotta cute outfits for school. A little over 2 weeks left. I think I'm ready. We have just had the best summer ever!!!! we've done so much together, and spent a lot of quality time. And I think we've all done some growing too. Emotionally that is.

I've found one of the most noticeable changes, is in their trust for me. It's no longer blind. Justin especially. He seems to understand SO much more.

I've had a very enlightening summer myself. Made some changes. Recognized both strengths and weaknesses. Done some accepting, as well as some rebelling.....sigh.

I've also realized that when you go through something traumatic, time does heal, and you are able to move on without pain. BUT, what I didn't know, is that there will be scars.........

I wasn't really prepared for that.

hmmmm, do you think any of this soul searching has to do with the fact that I am turning 35 in a month???? hahahaha

off to get on with the day. Ihave some projects in mind. Closets, laundry room...... although that may get put on hold. The sun and blue skies of BC are calling my name!!!!

Please sit before reading.....

2009-08-04T19:13:00.001-07:00

ok, so shock of all shocks.... I scrapped! yep! I know I stunned myself. but we stayed home one day and i did 4 lo's! all simple, even though it took me the entire day!!!! heehee so the first, we were driving to the lake and Corey was telling me about his evening.... about a guy he pulled over going 57 km over the speed limit and Justin breaks in and says..... " i bet he didn't tell his wife! " i was stunned! and then I started laughing....... what a thing for an 8 year old to say. so I asked him why? " cause he woulda got in trouble for sure! No TV, and maybe even sent to his room! " too freakin funny. so I scrapped it! I have been writing down the funny things he's been saying lately so I can document it all..... hee, pouting! as you can see I took a million photos of him pouting cause I needed proof! lol!

this one below is Justin. He is my sunshine. Even in a full on pout!

and this is Cara. isn't she darling? She's Bella's best friends little sister. OR, Lachlan's friend! heehee. I put this photo up on facebook, and someone commented and said, where the wild things are......so here it is.

and that's it! disappointed that I didn't ramble on and on ....... hahahaha. next time, I promise!

xoxo

Justin gives Bella tips for being a good parent.........

2009-07-28T21:09:00.001-07:00

ok, so this is my Justin, he's 8. He has the biggest personality ever!!!! and he is really cute too! So we're on our way to Purden lake today, and the kids get talking, and it comes up that Justin doesn't ever want to get married. he just wants to live with either myself or Bella for his whole life. But he wants Bella to have kids, so he can be an uncle!!! the greatest uncle in the world!!!! So Bella says, ok Justin, I am going to marry Jonah or Kyle, and then you can live with us, and be an uncle...... ( her choice in boys is awesome. they are both quite big, strong boys, cute too! but even better......... they are well above grade average in school.) Good girl Bella!!!!

so Justin says, I can help you be a good parent........ I have some tips...

( so there I am grabbing crazily for my pad and paper!!!! Thank God I wasn't driving!! hahaha)

1. DON'T give them everything they want!

2. No snacks before meals

3. always keep them safe....

4. make sure they are always balanced with what they eat....

5. you want to make sure they try new things, like food....... and adventures........

6. teach them that it's important that they clean up their own mess

7. they need to learn about money, and not just buying the first toy they see, but to make sure they will play with it...... cause otherwise that's a waste... and if they have TOO many toys, they won't have a good imagination

8.teach them that kids have an important job too, it's playing!

9. manner and respect are VERY important Bella, veeery important

10. teach them to love God and always pray....

11. there is no such things as too much hugs and kisses.

12. oh and you need to help them learn how to think for themselves, that's another really important one!

so there I am pad and pen in hand, scribbling furiously, obviously with a scrap page in mind!!! (I keep pads and pens with me always, cause you just never know)

so there you have it, Justins tips for being a parent! hahaha. I thought it was adorable!! is it any wonder I love this boy??

xoxo

sigh...sometimes I envy lesbians....

2009-07-27T05:42:00.001-07:00

well my perception of it anyway. I am not talking about the complicated way they grow up feeling different or like somethings wrong with them, the tortuousness of coming out. But the ease of the actual adult relationship they must have..... I've had 3 best best friends in my life. elementry, junior high and high school. and I could have had a glorious, fulfilling relationship with any one of those girls. even those best friends you have when your kinda in between best friends......... anyway. my best friend from high school, we had something! we could almost read eachothers minds!!!! we spooned during sleepovers, held hands at the mall. totally oblivious to everyone else. all of our campping trips, and volleyballs games..... it was just so much fun. even the traumatic experiences of youth, you know, the end of the world as you know it, we laughed through together...... we told eachother EVERYthing, and i mean everything! we were sooooo different, she went on to be a successful composer, singer and actress, single, yet living with a man more than 20 years her senior, no children..... while i married at 21, and had 3 children. different dreams and yet, we were one! now in a regular relationship, hmmmm, let see. its like knocking on a 12 inch thick wooden door!! i am NOT going to build his ego up anymore by saying steel, or he would probably want it to be some kind of indestructable titanium mix, from some unreachable planet in space, where the aliens have mostrously huge arms....... blah blah blah (insert rolling eyes here) i swear a man's ego has no bounds... and why??? why?? everytime you say the word foot, or enormous or ogo pogo, does he, ahem, er.... do THEY have to make a reference to a member of their anatomy????!!!!?????? no, seriously??! ok, so it's, OMGOsh, its almost 6 am here. I thought it was 4:30 am. that's the last time Lachlan threw up during the night! I can't believe how much time has past, without me sleeping!!!! or could you tell? that i've had no sleep tonight, while my thick block of wood has been snoring through the whole thing! even my dry heaving! ugh! and i am not even going to put an "in his defense" sentence in here. i'm too tired....... well at least i don't have to feel guilty anymore. I thought the kids had heatstroke or were dehydrated!!!! from taking them out into the heat and sun.... and the bluest of blue blue skies...... gorgeous trees, with little chipmunks running up them and lakes, so cool and refreshing to swim in...... and waterfalls....... and wonderful green hiking trails.... did I mention the heat and blue skies??? good thing I caught myself, I almost said, " and the peat, ahhh the peat." LOL!!!! ( just between us..... that was all for Leah *wink*) but we haven't gone anywhere for 2 days!!!!! so it must have been an 8 hour bug!!! so that's good news. Damn my optimistic nature!!!! I was having a good pout during this post. sigh. well it's gone now! LOL. oops, my giggle just made him jump! HA! serves him right! bye for now, the sun is up here (smile) and i may as well go and pack for the day, that way we can get to wherever we're going earlier........ oh maybe I should include a photo of said block of wood, since I don't think he has ever been seen??.... hmmmm let's see what I can find...... and I am not in the mood to be generous and edit them either...... heehee xoxo

woa woa woa your boat..........

2009-07-24T19:04:00.001-07:00

so this is Hixon Falls. I didn't know what to expect... but it was so beautiful. and we had such a great time...... it's this little town 30 min from PG. I was trying to capture the falls, but it was 3 tiered and there were so many trees that it was hard, but I tried to get the 'scale' of it...... gorgeous, yes? we are ' off roaders ' haha. there was a path, but I am so used to making my own path that I didn't even notice it! we went with this new family we've hooked up with. they came in socks and hiking shoes!!!!! i know, it doesn't sound crazy to you, but if you've ever hiked with us, you know to bring sandals AND a dry change of clothes!!!!! heehee so needless to say, they got wet! they were such troopers!!! I jumped off the rock wall into this little pool and I couldn't touch the bottom!!! that's how deep it was. and COLD!!! wow! my entire body went numb..... but it was so awesome, the current shot me out and then twirled me around........

and this, heehee, this is Lachlan on his first date..... he was 'rowing' his little friend Cara down the river and she was singing her little heart out, actions and all, "woa woa woa your boat, gently down the stweam....... eminy eminy eminy eminy, life is such a dweam...." her mom and I were laughing sooo hard. lachlan was just looking at her, completely enraptured!!!!! (she can't pronounce her r's, so it is adorable....)

and then off he went to do a little ' fishing '....... hahahaha. he is SUCH a boy........

can't wait to go back...... it has been crazy hot here this last week, so we have been vegging at the lake. I don't take my camera, cause for one, it would be the same ol every time, and also, I don't think the heat out there, for 8-10 hours would be good for it.......

so yea, a little peak at one of our days...... ancient forest next i think.....

and I may scrap a little too, I am starting to get inspired... Leah is giving away a kit on her blog for free....and *sigh* it reminds me of my Justin. (heehee, thought I wasn't gonna sneak him in here didn't ya! hahahaha) so we'll see. plus he said the funniest thing while we were driving the other day......... but i'll save that for another time...

good chatting.

xoxo

playing catch up.......

2009-07-18T16:19:00.001-07:00

So i was loading the dishwasher last night and looked up to see this...... it was just a beautiful spot in the sky, sunset of course..... so i ran for my camera.....

this was the same time but on the other side of my house. it was funny cause I had to run out to the deck off of our family room which kinda wraps around the front of the house. the top photo is from the left side of my house and this one is from the right! hahaha

Are we not the most fortunate people ever.... to get to live surrounded by this???? this little spot happens to be 15 minutes from my house. it's amazing!!! the kids and I like to just go out and explore, so we get in the van and drive, see a pull out or a little hiking road and we're off. and we find little gems like this river. and the crazy thing about it is, NO ONE else here does it! I have to admit, I just don't understand it!!!! so of course, I start making calls before i leave the house, almst every time we go out, but, can you believe it, no one ever wants to join us. or if they do, it's once and then they are wiped for the week. is it just me, or is that nuts!!!!???!!!!

so as we walk we like to make up things. so i told justin to look for clues for an ancient civilization, and maybe we can discover long lost people, or maybe a hidden cave with a magical dragon that breathes rainbow fire....or whatever, ya know. and, hahaha, what happens, we stumble on this rock!!! isn't that funny. we actually found quite a few clues that day......

this of course is my darling bella sharing her walking stick with lachlan, until they can find him a 'perfect' one of his own. she just loves to mother him. (which includes discipline by the way, heehee)

and since she doesn't have any boobies yet, and there is no one around to be embarrassed in front of, whe wanted to take her shirt off too. and who am i not to let her!

all boy, this one. no matter what, everything he finds is a gun or weapon of some sort. it's in the genes, i swear it is.....

and of course how could i not end a post with Justin. heehee. it has been brought to my attention that this guy here is in almost every post i do........hahahahaha. sigh, it's true...... and now i found out we have a rainforest, less than an hour from my house....... and this amazing cave, and a provincial park with a waterfall. so those 3 three things are on our agenda for this week. and we have plans with some families for mon and wed too, just the beach and a fire...... it should be a good time. so I will have more photos hopefully. thought I would catch up with a few before I end up with tooooooo many!

hope everyone else is having as wonderful a time this summer so far as we are...........

thanks for reading, and caring what we are up to! you guys are the best!

XOXOXO

A mother mouse...

2009-07-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

we had so much fun last night! well, yesterday, heehee, that turned into last night! I like variety, so I am always on the lookout for new 'haunts' for us. I looked up some parks 2 weeks ago and we have been checking them out. a couple were a bust......... BUT, I found some awesome ones. We found 2 awesome regional parks here, one with a lake and the other a river, with trails, and a huge green area, and they provide fire wood!!!!!!! the river one is the best, it's 15 minutes away..... and there are 2 beach areas, so the kids (and i have to admit......me, heehee) go from one, then float down the current to the other. it is soooooo much fun. then up to the table for a fire and a little catch or soccer...... then after we eat, off to hike for a couple hours, only to return to the water! my mom thinks we're crazy! and last night we discovered that at our fav beach, you can go up to the camp ground and hang out, have a fire, FOR FREE, as long as you are out when the camp closes at 11pm!!!!! so cool. So that was what we did yesterday. we went to one of the parks I found and it was a bust, so off we went to the beach. which meant we were driving for 2.5 hours! ugh! but these guys are great. they just entertain themselves. so we were sitting around the fire last night and my mom says she sees something, and sure enough, it's a mother mouse. she was moving her babies! I know, it was a mouse! but it was still cool. we just watched her take trip after trip! the kids thought it was just like watching the discovery channel. lol! I managed to get a couple photos, but she was just running so fast!!

I had a hard time getting them to sleep last night because they just wanted to talk about camping. heehee. that's what they think we did last night! there was this area, a square made out of 2 x 4's, off to the side of the campsite, and they thought it was a stage or an arena. so they arranged their chairs into an audience all took turns acting, or fighting, or something! it was too funny. now they don't want to do anything else but go back to that spot! crazy nuts!

well off to our next adventure!

I am not a shoe girl..... does that make me weird??

2009-07-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

so I was just on the phone with my mama, and we were talking shoes. Ugh! The woman lOOOOVes her shoes! In fact all but one of my pairs of shoes were bought while I was with her. The result of pressure, pure and simple. And the pair I bought on my own were knee high brown leather boots. Slip on........ and those I bought out of sheer love. anyway, she was just telling me she bought 3 pairs of shoes the other day........... 3, at one time! and it reminded me of the pain I went through 2 weeks ago. I needed to buy runners, but spending that kind of money on runners!**shudder** (which in my book are the ugliest things ever!!!!!!) at least the good ones that you need for running..... but I have taken up jogging, and somehow managed to fall in love with jogging...... actually i watched the movie What Women Want the other day, with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt.... and there was this part that I just totally related too, which is weird, but anyway, here it is.....

you don't stand in front of a mirror before a run

and wonder what the road will think of your outfit

you don't have to listen to it's jokes

and pretend their funny

it would not be easier to run if you dressed sexier

the road doesn't notice if you are wearing lipstick

or care how old you are or if you make more money than it does

and you can call on the road whenever you feel like it

whether it's been a day, a week

or even a couple of hours since your last run

the only thing the road cares about

is that you pay it a visit every now and again

I just think it's so true....... anyway. I thought I would post a photo of the running shoes I bought, as hideous as they are. And tell you what happened when I bought them. They were 189.99!!! I only paid $100.00 for them!!!!!!

So I take my shoes up to the front and the girl who was helping me gave me these insoles for free............. AND said she would give me a discount on the shoes as well.

I was like, umm, well sure, ok, thank you sooo much!

So she rings it up and tells me it will be $100.00

What????? are they on sale??

Nope, (huge smile) I gave you a discount and no tax.

Can you do that??

she laughed and said, I just did!

I was so flustered when I gave her my bank card. My mom was standing there, dumbstruck! it was hilarious. So we leave the store and my mom says, what the heck just happened??? and I laughed and said, I have no idea! And she couldn't figure out how I was so blase about it. So I told her, and it's true, this kind of thing happens to me ALL the time. It annoys the hell out of Corey!!!! I get stuff for free or discounted all the time. I don't know why, it just happens. Like at starbucks. I swear, I get 1 out of every 4 coffees I buy free. I don't ask questions anymore, just say thank you soooooo much, you absolutely just made my day!!! wish them a wonderful day and off I go with a smile......... home to tell Corey so he can get mad! heehee.

(these things never happen to him. In fact, usually the opposite.)

Like the other day, he pulled a guy over for going 124km in a 70km zone. So he could have given him a fine of, $467.00, (excessive speed) but he gave him the $196.00 instead. Just because. And the guy told Corey to

" f**k yourself nicely! " in a nice tone too!!!! bwahahaha.

So corey turns to the guy to say thank you when it dawned on him what the guy said....... I can just see his face. I laughed so hard.......... and that happens to him all the time. The stories I could tell you about how stupid the human race is in general????? Hilarious!!!!! Demoralizing, off putting, somewhat depressing even..............but, hilarious all the same.

anyway, a post about a whole lot of nothing! hahaha. With a photo of ugly shoes. BUT, let me tell you, my feet are happy!!!! They are incredibly comfortable. Hopefully I will have more substance next time. heeheehee

chat soon.... xoxo

has it really been that long.........

2009-07-06T18:24:00.000-07:00

hahaha, as I sit here, I can hear Corey yelling at the kids to get out! I came down to my scrap room to escape. Dinner is in the oven, and Justin and Isabella are rollerblading in the kitchen and dining room, while Lachlan is chasing them with his remote control car! wooo! chaos. so I came down to escape, as did Corey I hear. We have been so busy, just the way I like it. Busy with things we want to do, instead of things we have to do. We went to rainbow park last wed, and thursday, then bear lake Saturday, then crooked river monday. And it's been so nice. I love getting up early and making some salads, smelling the watermelon........packing the cooler........ then off we go. sigh...... we all enjoy it so much. I found out PG has some caves that people come from all over to go to!!!! So we are going to take the kids spelunking this coming week! should be cool! it's a 2 hour hike uphill to the closest ones! heehee.

here is an unedited photo of lachlan!

(I gotta figure out how to get that milk line off his mouth!!!)

the money shot!!! that little smirk on his face!!!oh and his hair is green again. I did NOT like the red/orange colour at all!

AND I have taken a million photos! it feels so good. Like reconnecting with an old friend..... I have been in such a funk lately...... I haven't scrapped in.....hmmmm, literally, months! with no desire to either! but i am starting to get a few ideas. The kids have said some funny and sweet things lately. like Isabella made me a card and wrote in it....( isn't it the cutest thing ever when they start writing on their own!!!!!) and the card read:

mom, I Luf you mama you are my sumbeen I Luf you Luf isa Bella

she kills me, this little girl!!! I just want to scream sometimes!!!!!!!!! and the other day, well let me preface this with, EVERY morning since Justin could get out of bed on his own, he comes straight to me wherever I am and gives me a hug and kiss, says good morning and I love you, so a few weeks ago he comes into my room and says, so seriously......

" mama, I don't think I could get through my day

without hugging and kissing you good morning,

I really don't."

OH..... and the funniest thing. Justin, he's at the age where he is starting to 'get' things. So we went to Ice Age 3 last wednesday, and there is this part where the sloth tries to milk a yak, and finds out its a boy, of course it starts to chase him and he yells out, I didn't know you were a female!!! a couple of laughs, mostly from the adults, and then all is quiet and Justin turns to me, eyes wide, fingers in his mouth, and says, loudly......

gasp, I know what he pulled!!!!! and starts to giggle uncontrollably! this Oh Oh Oh kinda laugh. one hand on his mouth and the other covering his privates! I immediately get out my iPod, go to my note section and write it down of course!!!! it was too cute! can you love your kids too much??? no seriously! cause sometimes I wonder you know. I look at him, especially him, being the first, and we were and are so close, and it's physical. I love them all, but he was and still is my snuggler. He is soooo affectionate, and the most like me....... I dunno. this photo is from the park. I found this online photography magazine by accident the other day, and it had a tutorial. I followed it for the most part, added my own tweaks here and there, an this is what I ended up with. not sure I totally like it, but it was fun to experiment.......

Justin is in a full on pout in the pic.

Corey and I are always glad when he acts out a little. lets us know the kid is human. He is always so kind and thoughtful and giving....... you start to wonder about him, and then once every 2 months or so, he lacks sleep and pouts! it's too cute!

oh and I wanted to ask, any recommendations of a face cream??? I know I am only 34, and really don't have any wrinkles, but I want to get a cream anyway, prevention, ya know! hahahaha, and it just feels like a feminine.......... 'thing' I'd like to adapt. So, if anyone has any good creams they know of...... there are just SO many! I have no idea where to start!

oh, and next post, with photo's, I'll have to tell you about the kids near death experience. ( they weren't really, but they truly believed in the moment that they were going to die!) it was hilarious. of course, not to them!!!!!!!

I'm still here..........

2009-06-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

heh everyone!!! I am NOT missing in action! I just have not been able to connect to the net in about 2 weeks!!!!! i haven't had my comp serviced in 3 years, since I got it in fact! think maybe it's time?? heehee so lots going on over here. 2 birthday parties in the last week. Bella is 7 and Lachlan is 5. Justin is 8, just so I don't leave him out! and belly dancing started up again........ and bootcamp is harder than ever!!!! and I still love it, figure that one out! so I will post more in a day or so..... but now I am off to play a round of chutes and ladders with the kids and then family movie night. Tomorrow is Bella's party. We are off to the theatre with 8 girls to see UP! if you haven't seen it, you MUST!!!!!! absolutely in my top 5 best cartoons of all time!!!! we all went last weekend to preview it! hahahaha. so it will be mine and Bella's second time seeing it, my boys,(hubby is incl in that) are going to see land of the lost at the same time. so goodnight for now and I will check in soon!!! I've missed everyone!!!! haven't been able to read a blog in forever...... so weird, you get used to hearing about your 'friends' lives and then bang! your cut off! ok, chat soon XOXOXOXOXO nichole

2009-05-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

so my week......... blah. Corey left on Thursday to go to calgary for his 20th school reunion. which I was quite annoyed at......... but that's another story! hahaha. and of course Lachlan got sick at noon on that day. I don't think I have ever seen him that sick. Poor baby. but the doc said it's a good thing. He has never been exposed much because he was born under 2 pounds at 25 weeks, and so we couldn't take him out at all cause anything could have killed him. He's almost 5 now and strong as a horse and she said it's good for him, he'll build immunity and antibodies....... blah blah blah. heehee. ANYWAY..... now Justin and Isabella have it! so I was reading a story today and it reminded me of a time...... hahahaha. ok, so one night we were watching arachnaphobia, why? I don't know. Me and horror movies do NOT go together....I have nightmares for months ...... and corey is literally terrified of spiders! hahaha. One time there was a spider on our door, and I locked him outuntil he killed it! LOL!!!!!! ANYway. so there we are feeding off of eachother's fears, and someone knocked on our basement window! and we looked at eachother, panicked. And corey says..... check who it is...... and I was like what????? YOU see who it is. then a knock again. it's like 2 am!!!!! so corey stands up, kinda starts hopping around, and says I'll be right behind you. yea right!!!! you donut head! anyway, finally my brave knight of a husband peeked out of the curtain!!!! it was our neighbor..... his wife had their baby..... anyone ever hear of a phone??? anyway, it was funny after the fact! I'll have to remind him of that brave moment in his life. I remember going out to dinner with friends and we got to talking about some of corey's finer moments, haha, and the other couple, the husband of course, said how he felt so much safer now that corey moved to town and was protecting us all...... it was so funny!!!! for those of you who don't know, corey is with the rcmp........ yea, brave knight!!! ok, so this was a bit of a bum post, but I've got nothing really. So much to do in the next couple weeks. Bella officially turned 7 yesterday, and Lachlan turns 5 onthe 26. so 2 parties....... and that's it. so now I am taking the kids off to see night at the museum 2 in theatres today!!!! woohoo. we're excited!!!!

A little something funny.......

2009-05-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

O my goodness!! heeheehee. So I am just sitting here reading blogs, and Lachlan is beside me in my bed. He had a quick but viscious bout of naseau...?? so he napped and then we watched Harry Potter and now we are watching Indiana Jones..... both child friendly, as far as swearing or sex are concerned. or so I thought! hahaha. Lachlan just said, and I quote..... " get those little bastards ! " yup, I gasped! and then laughed out a HA! he said, "what mama?" oh, nothing honey, mama just read something funny on her computer! ok then...... my kids know there are swear words, or 'square words' as they still call them, but they don't know what any of them are!! And Justin for one is thankful cause what if he said one in his head to himself by accident????? hahahahaha. my poor conscientious boy! anyway, just a quick blurb. oh yea, and just fyi, Justin asked me yesterday where babies really come from. "cause I don't believe they come from the stork mama, that's doesn't make any sense. and HOW do they come out of your belly button??? so where do they REALLY come from? " oh boy. He got distracted..... thank God. Any ideas???? hahaha or should I pull the, if you can take this suitcase full of heavy stuff down the stairs to the door, then you are ready to know........ and then pack that freaking suitcase full of a 100 lbs worth of stuff?????? I guess we'll find out................ at least he didn't ask me how the baby gets IN there..........

what a great day!!!!

2009-05-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

We had SUCH a great day yesterday!!! my children decided one day to celebrate how much they love me is just not enough! hahaha. who am I to argue?? so they talked to MY mama, and between the lot of them all decided we should go to the may fair here. we had a lot of fun!!! one of the things I love the most about days like yesterday is how much you learn about your children. I know we watch them grow daily, but when you see them out at something, you see their personality traits that much more clearly. both the good ones and bad ones. I have so many photos that I just can't wait to upload....although i will have to cause my battery died! hahahaha but I watch them, Justin, he's responsibly fearless.... yea I know, it's an oxymoron! but it's true. there isn't anything he isn't up for, and yet he puzzles it out first. Weighs the consequences before jumping in. He is soooo much like me! Sometimes I worry about him because he is just SO responsible, and then he'll have himself a pout with his lip out and all, and I think, thank God, he IS normal!!! He was quite upset cause he got stuck in the bumper cars and couldn't move his car, and he was entirely powerless to do anything about it! the funny thing?.... I was not going to let them go on the bumper cars, cause that is exactly what happens! BUT, you can't not let them do things just because you know, they have to learn....right? so as he came off, with arms crossed and bottom lip out, I had my camera chest level and was just rifling off the photos. had he known he would have been sooooo upset! but he didn't! so now I have photos!!! and they are darling! then there's Lachlan. He is so freaking independent!!!!! we just don't realize here at home! but the rides and things he went on yesterday, ALL on HIS terms of course, cause God forbid I make a suggestion! We were so thoroughly impressed. He is coming into his own. wow! he is stubborn in a very subtle way! it's quite tricky. Good thing I am one of the most stubborn people in this world. Not something to brag about, but in this case, it's a good thing. And then my Isabella. sigh.......that girl! she breaks my heart just by being. Lachlan rode all the rides free because of her!!!!! and I didn't even feel bad. cause seriously.... 5 tickets at a dollar a piece for kiddie rides??? she would hold his hand and take him in, and she is soooooo cute, the workers didn't say a thing! it was too funny watching others get stopped and have to produce and Bella smile sweetly, saying thank you...and getting in! she was so responsible, she is this little mother. Lachlan got lost in the house of mirrors! hahahaa. I guess Justin said, they kept banging their heads, walking into mirrors! too funny! and when Lachlan didn't come through in what she deemed time enough, she went back and sure enough, he was lost! and of course, Justin is at the age where his daddy plays such an important part in his life, even though neither of them are aware of it. sigh...... gets a mama right in the heart!!! so today is Mother's Day, and I started my day with an 8km run! I am starting to look forward to my runs. I never thought it was possible. but wow, does it ever clear your head. and I don't know about you guys, but I need it! This is just THE year for revelations and growth for me for some reason. I keep remembering things too, which is weird. huh. well, another day! ok, so the agenda for the day according to the children........ I get to exercise...done, then relax on my comp for a bit, doing now, and then we all go bike riding or to the park where I can take a zillion photos and they will pose for me!!! charging my battery now! and then off to dinner! hahahaha. do they know me or what?? but seriously, isn't it humbling when your children know you almost aswell as you know them? I am so grateful!!!!!!!! so very very grateful!!!!! every night I pray I will never take this gift I have been given for granted....... Happy Mother's Day Ladies!!!!! I love that I can come here and write and read and just KNOW we all understand, we are all mothers with a mothers heart, guilt, love.......

when is anger justified??

2009-04-30T13:51:00.001-07:00

ok, I would add a photo with this post, but I am literally too embarrassed to show you the state my house is in! I just came homw from grocery shopping, wait, let me start at the beginning, so we had company for 2 weeks, (corey's family). Then corey went away for a week (thank you!)and got home late friday night, and his brother arrived on saturday! and is of course still here, with 10 days to go. and so you know how it is, you are cleaning more than usual....... and sleeping less. and your kids are whiny cause they are off schedule and said company doesn't know how to shut a door without slamming it..... !!!!! ( if there was a blinkie of someone pulling out their hair, it would go in here) and of course you all know I am doing bootcamp, which is turning out to be my sanity. and the cooking! ugh! meat, EVERY day. and of course my kids are at school, but I STILL have to make lunch for said company and they are NOT light eaters! and can someone say, it's alright for freaking adults to eat a damn bowl of cereal!!!!! I am tired of doing the whole eggs and bacon or ham............. and you are buying 2 of everything....... like if my family has taco's say, we buy one package of hamburger, with these guys I need 3. so I have NO down time!!!!! if i'm not cooking, I'm cleaning. and corey is still working, shift work no less, so here I am taking care of a family that does not like me, oh, that's not a secret by the way. I think they may even be proud of it. so I come home today from buying groceries yet again and trying to figure dinner out for the next 3 days, and I come upstairs to my spotless kitchen, see I know it was clean, cause when I left, it was bright and shiny...... and lovely. and when I got home! ( insert loud scream here) a huge tub of salsa, left open with a bunch spilled on the counter, beside the open sour cream, or was it salsa, I couldn't tell, it was the sour cream container, but there was enough salsa in it to swim in, and then there were taco's on the counter and the floor, and melted cheese everywhere. and the milk is out and open. dishes on the side of the sink. I'm not sure why so many. They should just eat the butter, they leave enough food in it to feed a family of 4! you know I almost want to cry! and to make matters worse, I have had beely dancing practice every night, 1.5 hours cause the show is on sat. almost 700 tickets sold. so I go out every night, then come home and clean up. while watching them watch tv. oh wait, no, that's not true, the other night I got home and they went to the casino! so, can I get angry, or do I just cry??? do I get aloof? what the hell do I do. AND THEN....... Corey comes and gives me a hug and says, I hope we're not leaving you out!!! wanna have a 'date' tonight? hmmmm.........let me see. yea, did you think I was gonna jump all over that one??? as tempting as it was? !!!!! snort! but it's hard cause I don't know if my patience is down due to being tired and I'm just taking this too personally or what. So yea, I don't know what to do. and I have to clean up now, then make supper, do all the kids stuff, read, bath, bed. then off to a 2 hour technical dress rehearsal tonight! and up at 5 am tomorrow morning for boot camp. ok so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. have I mentioned how much I love bootcamp???? except for wed. I don't want to talk about it, I'm still tramatized. but I will say one word, ok 3. Accumulator............ and.............prison squats! don't ask, it's worse than you can imagine! I wish I could just get mad, let it all out, with no consequences......... ok, thanks guys for letting me vent. otherwise......... happier post next time I promise!

blogging anyway! hahaha

2009-04-27T07:48:00.001-07:00

ok. have you ever wanted to blog, but didn't really have much to say. Or maybe you just think your everyday life just isn't interesting enough?? cause I feel that way all the time! hahaha. but here was my week.... Corey has been on a course in Vancouver for a week. He got home on friday night.... would it be really awful of me if I said I wouldn't have minded just one more week? I almost dropped a lady in subway when i was getting lunch for my daughter....no seriously, it was a close one! I can laugh about it now...... but I almost layed the boots to her! heehee she was having a conversation with a woman who came in and was standing behind me... yes I felt like I was in a sandwhich. anyway, it was her turn and she said to the lady making her sub... i'll be with you in just a minute.... yup! she did! (there were at least 8 or so of us waiting. I was in a hurry to pick up Lachlan from pre-school, then run over to the school and take the kids lunch.) so she starts up yapping again....... so I asked her nicely if she would mind if I went in front of her, cause I had to pick up my son, and SHE said," yeeees, I WOULD mind very much! " OMGosh!!! so I said, "then you are gonna need to order.........NOW!" then a couple of seconds later, after the service girl asked...... I said..." CHEESE???!!!! " heehee. uppity, hoity toity wench! then I left and after a couple minutes, thought, well she did give me something to talk about, and made me laugh...! so all in all.... not bad. but still, it was a close one! hahahahahaha I am tired of how my son, the sweetest boy in the world is getting treated at school, and the helpless feeling that accompanies it.... you can go in and talk to them, but what do they really do? not much..... so, sigh.... I am trying to arm him with skills to handle himself..... but it's hard. I just want to go to the school and drop the little boys who are bothering him. But I tell myself, he will just be stronger for it in the end. but still, a mother's heart..... and Bella..... my darling, sweet, clueless Bella....hahaha. everyone loves her and she just has no idea!!! and the boys!!! my goodness, she's only 6!! she'll be seven next month. I picked her up, and one of the boys was following her around and he just wants to be close to her, touch her. and Bella doesn't like to be pawed, so anyway, she told him, I know you are in love with me.... and that's ok, but STOP TOUCHING ME ALREADY!!!!! hahahahaha I hope I am not the only one.... the school, elementary school! had a dance.... I was like what???? anyway, the moms were all encouraging the boys to take the girls and pay for them and 'slow dance' with them!!!! I have to admit I was appalled. They are in grade 1!!!!! it's just way too early!!! I don't want Bella primping and preening for a boy!!! so we turned down the many invites...the dance was at lunch and she really wanted to go, so she did. but it was funny (and again appalling) the boys wanted to dance with her, and they wanted to put their arms around her or holdhands and she wouldn't let any of them!!!! hahaha. then they were chasing her trying to kiss her. So needless to say, I had a chat with the teacher, who happened to notice and put a stop to it! thank God somebody was in their right mind!!! But she said it was funny how adamant Bella was about them NOT touching her! ( you see, we learned that boys like to 'taste' girls! ugh! Justin was soo worried!!! so I told him that 'those' boys drank something when they were babies, and I never gave him any, so he will be fine! ) you see ladies.... Isabella is waiting to give her kiss to Peter Pan when he comes for her one day. and he will! I did a lo about it actually... she has been collecting 'kisses' for him since she was 2. and then when she turned 6 we noticed she has a dimple at the corner of her mouth, just like the girl in the real version of Peter Pan. what an amazing movie, if you haven't seen it... YOU MUST! here it is it reads... may you always believe in your Peter Pan, and recognize him when he comes may he always cherish your kisses and the time you spent collecting them. sigh..... and she believes daddy gave her her kiss when she was a baby, by kissing her of course, and shhhh, but daddy was Peter Pan until he met me.... and so now she is saving hers for HER Peter Pan. I hope I never run out of stories!!!! LOL!!! who knew we as mom's would have to be so creative!

Exciting news!!!!

2009-04-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

so I made it!! I got on Shaui's CT!! I am so excited!!! I have loved her designs from the beginning of my journey... here are a few I have done...........

this is with her latest kit... Explore the Jungle. Available now at Oscraps!

Her CT is amazing, I am really in exalted company!!

Beautifuler (because of you...I feel beautiful.

2009-04-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

So I pick Justin up from school the other day, and I look over to see him looking at me with this look that told me he was feeling proud and a little overwhelmed with love. And he say's to me, " Mama? (for some reason his mama's always sound like a question, even at the end of a sentence) Mama? I like it cause you are more beautifuler than the other mom's." Well I about melted right then and there. Just when I think I can't love him anymore......... He is the most amazingly sensitive boy. He tells me he loves me at least 10 times a day. Literally. Always hugging and kissing. sigh. When he was a baby, until at least 18 months old, he snuggled with me constantly. I am so glad he has never really outgrown it. Even at school. He loves it when I hug and kiss him in front of his friends. and yes, I KNOW that won't last! hahaha but one can always hope.....right? credits are as follows Taylormade unscripted simply put - beautiful, unscripted the good life tag Vinnie Pearce Naturals paper and flowers Decorative page prompts butterfly FeiFei/creashens fortunate pink flower, staples, dripping hearts

It's confirmed, I am definitely a morning person.

2009-04-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

oh my!!! I have joined Xtreme Bootcamp! and I will admit, I am not so cocky anymore! XBT is kicking my butt! it's awful in a super fabulous way! we run 8 km every tue, thur, sat...... and do awful things like squats ( and not the kind your thinking of!!!!!) on mon, wed, fri! like today for example....230 squats, all with 8 pound weights.... either over my head, or out in front of me....UGH! killer! but man, am I gonna be a lean mean hot mama when all is said and done...... oh did I mention that it goes on for 3 months? hahahahahaha. I will say it has improved my life, well except for last week, when our first run was all uphill and I couldn't walk for 2 days. LOL I was weezing like an 80 year old, 3 pack a day smoker!!! too funny. but it's already showing!!! yea! and I am NOT doing the whole 2 shakes a day...... pills pills and more pills, either. just me, myself, and normal food. plus my usual walking to and from the school every day, which is a good 30 min each way. at this rate, Lachlan will be able to run a marathon. that poor child walks more than anyone I know. and mostly the little runt runs the whole way! such energy!!! so, as I was saying, it's from 5:30am to 7am. so I have my whole day ahead of me. come home, clean, talk on the phone..... I haven't yet found time to scrap like I was, but I will as I get used to it. So watch out those of you who are in on the vacation Som and I are planning..... cause my bikini days are ahead of me! *wink*

Funny Winter Peom....

2009-04-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

here is a poem a friend of mine sent me, she lives here in prince george...but she comes from Argentina and hasn't gotten used to the weather here yet! hahahaha.

True Canadians.... WINTER Poem

It's winter in Canada

And the gentle breezes blow

Seventy miles an hour

At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Canada When the snow's up to your butt You take a breath of winter And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful So I guess I'll hang around I could never leave Canada I'm frozen to the friggin' ground! LOL!!! it is so true!! but we have had sunshine here and it's been inthe plus this weekend. So off we go to bike ride again today!!! more photos soon to come!!! Hope everyone has just as great a weekend as we are having!

Inoordinately proud! heehee

2009-04-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

ok, I am so proud of this girl I am almost embarrassed. I thought this photo was so cool cause I'm in motion and the crack is diagonal and it all off centre. She loves this one......

This one she actually 'staged'. We were walking and in the midst of all the grey gloom was this pink silk flower..... so she puts it on the grey light post and photographs it and then I get it home and I loved the fact that it fllows the rules of thirds....almost!!!!!!!

and then she took a photo of Lachlan. She said "Mama, doesn't it look like he is really enjoying his hot chocolate." and so she wanted to capture it!

and here I sit inoordinately proud of my budding photographer.......... hahahaha. I feel like a silly indulgent mother!

Our 'spring' walk....... with my future photographer!!!

2009-03-31T18:18:00.000-07:00

ok, so first things first.... is it any wonder i'm a little annoyed?? this was taken march 29th!!! On the upside... you can SEE the swings now!! wooohooo!!! well, the baby swings! so we went for that walk and I was so glad! we needed the fresh air. We left at 9:30 that morning and didn't get home until 12:30. So it was nice. Only Isabella, Lachlan and I. I gave bella my other camera and crossed my fingers that she wouldn't drop it! and we jsut had so much fun. Watching her take photos was amazing to me. She's fin her shot..................................

look to see if she got what she wanted lined up the WAY she wanted it....................

then look at her 'subject'to see if it was right. It was just hilarious!!! I loved seeing this talent in my daughter for the first time. she was so happy. she says if we were twins and the same size, we would do the same thing and take photos together forever together!!!! heehee. sooooo cute!!!

I'll post the photos of her subjects tomorrow. I was really impressed. her subjects weren't what I would take photos of, but, her positioning and eye were great!!! maybe I am too subjective... heehee, but youcan decide tomorrow!

xoxo

Taylormade is in the spotlight over at Oscraps!!!!!!

2009-03-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so Amanda, er... Taylormade! is in the spotlight at Oscraps this week!!! it's pretty amazing really! she is having 3 challenges and lots of prizes and freebies!! this was my lo for the first challenge which was using the add on to Mere Modesty! credits: Taylormade Mere Modest add on FeiFei/Creashens fortunate frame Kitty Chen magical word overlay The second challenge is journaling... so I wrote a poem about Justin. hahaha. Some of the things I love about him right now! this is ALL Mere Modesty! except for my title which was to nichole with love! (heehee *wink*) and Therese made a template for the 3rd challenge!! and here is my take on it!

Justin has this thing.... when I tell him I love him, his chin raises up and his mouth closes and sometimes he bites his cheeks, it's his overwhelmed I love you face!! and it melts me....sigh

my journaling says I look at you and I remember things I would rather forget. I see so much of me in you. 'if only, I wish', memories, regrets. And then you lift your chin and look at me with love, and my heart only has room for you. you are my soft spot.

ok, so go to the forum at Oscraps and participate in this designer spotlight!!!! You'll have a great time and you'll love it! hope to see you there!!!

Somebody give me a push!!!!!

2009-03-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

sigh...... my house needs tidying, and I am on strike. I just don't FEEL like it today. Now usually my feelings have nothing to do with cleaning, but today.......... I just want to take my camera and my children and go out! As in outside!!!! BUT, that means I have to get everyone dressed, have a shower myself......... and think of somewhere to go, cause it's still so snowy over here. Warm though. It's plus 8!!!! well if I find a second wind, heehee, or my first if I'm honest..... I will post about it and include the photos...... here's to hoping I can get off my duff!

Today we had SUNLIGHT!!!!!!! and melting snow!!!!!!!

2009-03-22T09:20:00.001-07:00

you know what someone said the other day??? and now today I am really annoyed about it? she said, marriage should come with a 4 year warranty. you should get to re-evalute every 4 years, and be able to get out scot free if you want. So at first I was like, hahaha, yea..... that would be great. And dismissed it, but then today, i started thinking about it and thought, 'what an incredibly stupid thing to say'. AND, she was serious!!! do I need to elaborate........ what if there are children, what if you are loving it and him, but HE decides he wants 'something else'. ok, so that was my minor annoyance today. OH, right , it was Jenny McCarthy, on....... Oprah I think. I was on the comp and corey was watching Oprah! hahahaha. He watches The View too. so it was one of those. heehee got my camera out today, 2nd time in months. But the sun is shining here people!!!!! and it makes me happy!!! We got a major thunder/lightning/rain storm!!! and it melted a lot of snow!!! Spring may indeed be here!!! I REALLY hope so. Just thought I would post some photos........ since I took some......................hahahahaha. don't you just want to laugh long and hard sometimes for no reason whatsoever??!!!! isn't the light awesome in this!!! maybe too much, but its SUNLIGHT!!!!

oh and on another funny note, although you may have had to 'be there', I was talking to a really good friend the other day, who is going through some things, and she said, at least 10 times in that conversation, " I just wanted to punch them upside the head, ooooooooh!" I peed my pants. especially since the first person she wanted to do it to......... the offense was smiling at her in a goofy way!!! You just have to hear her say it!!! so I thought we should come up with some variations... like.... I just want to stick my hand down her throat and pull her guts up through her mouth...... that was mine, (it was just a suggestion) guess maybe i'm a little more violent than she is, *insert sheepish smile here* In my defense, I was just getting into things........ you gotta love that girl, she just makes me laugh so much. it WAS funny!!!!!

man I have a LOT of work to do.... Talormade is in the spotlight soon!!!! talk about feebies and goodies!!!!!!!!!!!!! And as one of the girls in the forum said, ' holy intimidation batman' !!! and she was right!!! when you are in the company of Therese, and Diana (todido). MariaW has an amazing lo! yikes!!! they are sooooo amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

off to find my muse........................... maybe I should I should call you know who again......*wink* can I ask Amanda for some custom WA?? Or Helen!!! she does awesome word art! Helen, if you read this, I have a few requests... hahahahahaha.

2009-03-17T08:54:00.001-07:00

So last week I got hit with a cold. It was brutal!! guess that's what happens when you go years without getting sick. Anyway, I think I am at the tail end now. one can only hope! hahaha as we all know, life does not stop for sickness, haha. so this weekend was of course one of the busiest weekends for us. Bella had 2 birthday parties on sunday, back to back. Now usually I would make her choose..... but these were 2 good friends. Man, I find here, we have to choose parties. It just gets to be too much! Justin and Bella get invited to every party..... it's crazy at this age. they aren't old enough to choose a few good friends yet....... ANYWAY. So the first party I was really looking forward too, cause it was a 70's dance party!!!!!!! I was so going to go austin powers route on Bella, but then the mini skirt and go go boots were just too much for a 6 year old. so we turned her into a flower child! It was hilarious! I bought white material which we made a skirt out of, and a tye dye kit!!!!!! so we had a good time putting her together. the hardest part for me was matching. I wanted her entire outfit to flow, but hippies just don't!! so we tossed a little of this and pinned that, and she looked so adorable. what was really funny was, once she was all dressed, she took on a totally different persona! she was all like mellow and serious!!! oh man did we laugh. I don't even know where she would have gotten that!!!! and then we get to the party and the almost no one was dressed up!!!!!!!!I was quite disgusted to be honest! I mean come on! how hard is it?? and the mom went to so much trouble! sigh...... annoying! anyway, here are some photos of my little hippie flower child......

this one is my favorite!!!!!!!

it was a lot of fun, and right from there we went to another birthday at the roll a dome! which was lots of fun too. I took Justin and him and I bladed together.

oh, and I brought a change of clothes for Bella!!!!! heehee

man, she doesn't look 6!!! and her hair is always parted on the side........ and usually done up in pigtails or just clipped so her bangs aren't in her face.

she just looked soooo different to us!

older and something!!!! hahahahaha

2009-03-04T21:32:00.001-08:00

Alter Ego by Paislee Press and Clearlt stuck tape by Taylormade. It's funny cause I just love staples. I have this thing for them...... but I actually like the tape even more. Anyway, this is my darling Isabella. She was 3, and helping Lachlan put on his sandals. She's such a little mother. And it was kinda nice to look at some old photos of her, cause right now she is in this grown up, obnoxious stage, which is hilarious....... see............

LOL!!

2009-03-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

I think I am getting caught up in the whites........... but don't lo's seem to pop in white? sigh. So this one is for Scarletheels, whom I love and have been neglecting lately. BAD ME!!! credits Scarletheels She's so sophisticated Muses Return both can be found at http://www.catscrap.com/ PaisleePress/AudreyNeal Photogenic *Oscraps* and Vinnie Pearce is having a guest CT call which I would absolutely LOVE to be a part of......... so I think this will be one of my submissions. Now just one more........ hahahaha if vinnie pearce whites blended with wishes and dreams paper decorative page prompts clipping masks set 01 she's a doll romance me

cross your fingers.

2009-03-02T16:23:00.001-08:00

oh boy! what a day! first I get up early as usual, and had lots of energy. So good day right? yea, on my way out to take the kids to school today, I walked head first into a metal door and literally almost knocked myself out. I think the reason I caught myself on the way down is cause Justin and Bella were screaming! LOL!!! who DOES that???????? anyway, so now I have this goose egg with a blue stripe down the middle on my forehead. and then I came home and worked up a monster sweat and did some crunches and weights........ it was a really good work out. It feels so good to get energy out first thing. If I leave it until afternoon, I have no motivation left. Then I cleaned my house. It is freaking spotless!!!! EVERY ROOM!!! and that is saying a lot. But I have some projects I want towork on, window, floors, and closets this week. So I wanted everything else done. Stripped the beds. I bought that febreeze in 2 flavours to try out. the antibacterial one and another. AND they work on fabric and air. So I'm pretty excited about that. silly, yea. And that was my day. I am just making supper right now, 4:30. And then homework and in bed asleep by 7!!! then I am off to belly dancing class. Should be fun. I have really gotten to know some of the girls there and I quite like them. Plus I ordered a few hip scarves that I am excited to get my hands on!!!!!!! I am really starting to miss my camera. but I am on strike cause I am tired of taking photos in my entrance and family room!!!!! sigh. I really can't wait until spring. or at least some of this cray snow melting. ok, so I guess I just treated you to a day in the life of me. heehee. talk soon, xoxo

MY friend Leah........is designing...... I am so happy for her!!!

2009-02-24T20:45:00.000-08:00

ok, some news...... grand opening of a new digital store.... DigiTop3!!! can be found here http://www.digitop3.com/index.php . The reason I am telling you is, one of my very best friends has started designing there!!!!! Leah! aka Lockhart designs. She makes wonderful papers....sigh. So of course I HAD to use them. So here is a lo I did using her papers, Shades of Grey. I went out of the box a little on this one. But ended up loving it in the end.

AND.................................... Kami is over there too!!!! Kreations by Kami. Hahaha, just gets better and better doesn't it? This is a lo I did using her Happiness Is kit. Great colours. And she has these amazing overlays as well. Loving those things........

Oh and my friend Nancy Barton is over there too!!! It's quite the place. They are having a grand opening March first, so go and have a little look see. Just in case you missed it up top, the addy is, http://www.digitop3.com/index.php

X O X O

I've been guest CTing for LEIKO BECK this month.........

2009-02-24T20:28:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I have been Leiko's guest this month! So right off the bat, what do I do? I run to her store to download all the goodies I don't have, eeeeeeeeeeeeee, so I can scrap right? and guess what..... there was nothing I didn't have!!!!!!!!!! sigh, yea, goes to show you. I LOVE her stuff!!!!! So anyway, I still got to play around and of course she put out a kit called date night which I didn't have, so yea!!!!!! here are a few from this month... so this was obviously inspired by my personal muse, Therese. That girl is amazing..... and I love this one and this is just my darling Bella....

and Bella again, hmmmm did I say Therese was my muse??? Well, I have 2 I guess, hahaha

and here are a couple oldies I did using Leiko's stuff.............

hope you enjoyed them, and there are still a few days left, so cross your fingers that she will come out with something for me........ did I mention I love Leiko's designs?????

Reminiscing.....

2009-02-24T12:24:00.000-08:00

So there I was washing the leftover dishes by hand today. Lachlan, home from pre-school, was sitting at the table playing the DS while eating his lunch. (which he thought was the coolest thing ever, heehee) I don't know, have you ever done a mindless task that makes you reminisce and is somewhat comforting instead of awful. I can't remember the last time I washed dishes by hand. Well into my teen years anyway. So, absorbed as I was with this feeling, I was quietly daydreaming when my son says, " mama, could you not talk please, I need privacy to do finish this level." I looked over at him, and the little nut wasn't even looking at me. I wanted to laugh so hard. So of course it inspired more memories of the same things. I remember being in Costco, and Justin was 3, Bella was 1 1/2. And I said something, in my low, serious voice, and Justin told me very seriously himself that he didn't appreciate my tone, and would I please change it. Well, the people around me were mortified, but not sure what to do since he had asked me so politely! SOOOOOO funny. I have this thing with whining. It literally takes me from 0 to 60. So if my kids ever even got a hint of a whine I would ask them to take a deep breath, change their tone and start over please. hahahaha. how these things come back at you. I have had my kids tell angry adults complaining in lineups, to "take a deep breath, and start over, it will make you feel better, it's all about balance, that's what my mama says and it actually works, I do it all the time. don't worry, it happens to all of us, sometimes we just feel like crying for no reason, you just need more sleep that's all. " 'take a deep breath, now another one.......ok, now start over please......' I can't TELL you how many times I say that in a week. Isn't it the funniest thing when they apply it to you or others???? And you can't give them in trouble cause they are just repeating or trying to help. Or like Lachlan, trying to express how important he was feeling playing the Ds at the dinner table while eating his lunch. So I had a good laugh over it.............. oh, and don't get me started on the morning conversations these kids have while still in their beds. I lie in bed and listen to them every day. It is soo cute. I know,I know, we have 6 bedrooms in this house and ALL 3 of my kids sleep in the same room!!! anyway....... adorable. good thing I have a pad of paper on my bedside table....... did some lo's!! shocking right? and they are a little out of my norm, I am going to post them later. oh and I forgot... I got photo tagged a while ago, the 6th photo in the 6th folder........... here it is... Better late than never. Sigh.... I miss spring..

Is it any wonder I have been MIA????

2009-02-17T09:34:00.001-08:00

I have seriously been feeling a little depressed! See, I LOVE the snow. BUT, this year, sigh, I am tired of it. And it's not as though we have gotten any more than usual...... it's just that I am in a different place I guess. Emotionally I mean. It seems I am unsettled inside...... all these pieces of me going in different directions, and floating away on me. And the catch is, I don't know which ones to pull in and which ones to let drift. Kwim??? Does anyone else get it???!!!! So this is at the back end of my back yard. It's really quite gorgeous.

LOVE these trees. They are everywhere and green all year. And they hold the snow so wonderfully. This is my front yard.

And this is when I opened my front door and looked outside to take some photos. Yah. I am 5'3. Those kinda roundish humps....... shrubs. They are the cutest little evergreens. ANYWAY.

Can you believe as much as I missed this, my blog and all of you, my online friends, I was actually scared to come back! I guess the commitment of it all. Will I still be able to keep my house clean, keep losing weight, dinner on the table, and quality time with my kids, dancing.......you get it, if I start up again. This isn't why I took a break, but in taking a break, I reconnected and couldn't believe how much time I spend on here!!!! heehee

I also need to reconnect with me, my inner scrapper. The one who could take a photo and scrap from my heart. I think I got caught up in the HOW to create lo's for CT committments and lost myself.

Heh guys, I also wanted to say, thanks for your support. I had some really dark days, and I would think of you and come here and it helped. It really did! So thank you!!!!!!!!!

and

I'M BACK BABY!!!!!!!

Som, hope your bikini ready!!!! cause I will be!!!! woohoo!

Just gonna take a little break

2009-01-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

I usually have loads to say, but I find I am at a little loss. So I am just going to take a little break. Find my mojo again. And then, I will be back!

365, Week two............

2009-01-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, my second week of photos, and I have to admit, I am finding this quite hard!! But I am still glad I am doing it. I've also lasted a week longer than I thought I as going to! heehee Monday, Jan 19th ok, so this was Justin's 5th excuse for getting out of bed! Mama, wanna see what a bull looks like? No, honey, I DON'T, now get to ....... hahahahahaha. Seriously, Justin, go to bed!!!!!

Tuesday, Jan 20th

Justin and I sat and took some photos, using my new tripod!!!! and he got to choose which one I posted. So here I am. I was making funny faces at him. Good thing I had deleted the worst ones.

ok, this one.... I came upstairs one day and Justin jumped up and started to run past me, with his royally embarrassed face on. Poor guy. I knew right away..... he was playing with the barbies and then realized they were naked. And I came up just as he was noticing barbies, boobies. heehee. ALL the barbies in our house are naked. Isabella doesn't believe in clothing them, sigh....

So here is my Lach, at pre-school. He gets ready and goes and sits so patiently until it's time to start. heehee. This was somewhat blurry for some reason, so I B/W'd it.... but it was the best one

sigh..... I have a THING about escalators.... but he LOVES them. He calls them allibators.

And this....this is my cat. I love him...... He is pitch black, so he is soooo crazy hard to photograph.

He sits on my desk while I am on the computer and follows me around all the time. He's like a dog, but so much better...cause he's a cat of course. Sorry all you dog lovers out there!!! But cats are where it's at.

OK, so trying to fiddle with editing. I am so unbelievable envious of those of you who can use actions. sigh......... for now, I am trying out new stuff. it's hard, cause it all starts to look the same after awhile.

watch for some self portraits next week, and some shoes, maybe a few dancing shots.... if I can manage it, heehee.

I don't really want to be happy........

2009-01-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

I went over the the HPchallenge and read the theme, and it started what has become a 2 week long conversation with myself in my mind. And I've found that most of my conversations with others has only added to it! **I want you to choose your word. YOUR word. The word you're going to live by in 2009. The word that will inspire you to become a greater you** (the challenge) So I went through all the 'ones', you know. And then today, just half an hour ago, it hit me!!! I was driving home from dropping off all 3 kids at their various schools and I was thinking about...... I know, TABOO ...... but I was thinking about sex. And I was rather, well, MAD! And then it HIT me!!! Balance. I need balance!!!! I had been leaning toward laughter. Cause it's like my favorite thing! I tend to be extreme, but I'm not happy when I'm extreme. The high's and low's tend to make me want to shut down and just exist. So I thought, how do I achieve balance in my life. And the funny thing is I have already started. 34.... it's quite an age. An age of change for me. I make lists..... that way I know what's coming and then the little things in life that just happen don't send me into a panic. I have signed up for classes based solely on enjoying myself. I play with my kids, have family movie nights. I have cut out 1/2 of the play dates. I order out twice a week to give me a break from cooking. I am allowing myself the thrill and drama in my salsa class, minus the guilt. I enjoy a little harmless drama!!!! **wink wink** I am not allowing 'people' in my life to dictate how I should feel. I know myself..... I know my goals and values. I guess I am tired of being told what I should want, and how I should feel. Cause I don't want to be happy. I want to be free to feel content, quiet, happy, sad......... and have it be ok, no matter what, because I am where I want to be. A work in progress. I don't have a spotless house, but it's a work in progress I don't have a great marriage, but it's a work in progress I am not happy with my weight yet...... ok, ok, you get it! heehee and I like working toward a goal......it'makes me, a stay at home mom, feel useful. I think I need to do more of the things that I enjoy and more of the things I don't like.... like dishes, ugh! and then I will achieve balance. And with balance....for me.....freedom. So this was my epiphany this morning. heehee. Now off to do some situps, and a little dancing exercise...... cause I like it. You should try it. Have you seen Grey's Anatomy?? Meredith and Christine are always dancing away......something together. It works!! see, I NEED Grey's for therapy!! hahahahahahaha.

Your gonna think I'm nuts, but I really would like help!

2009-01-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

Ok, there is some question as to what this is...heehee It's a spiderweb from last year, under the stone arch at the front of my house, that got totally frosted!!! I was just glancing out the window and went...what?????

Now, I need some help! NO............, not that kind of help, haha. You know you were thinking it!

OK... so there is this group of girls. And we are all dancing together. It's a fun group. So ONE of us thought we should have nicknames. the reason being, she is taking this exotic movement class.(glorified stripper class really. and she wants us to do it with her!! I am the only one who didn't cave!!! cause there is just NOOOO way...) So they have nicknames, ( I gave Cynthia, her stripper name, Cynfully delicious. too easy right?) and I don't have one. So they thought, we would all have 'other' nicknames, and I just can't get creative with it. It doesn't even have to have my name in it. The best one....Cynthia's nickname is Cynthianna Jones!! I am sooo jealous!! So, now I actually came down off my high horse and WANT a nickname....ya know? So if you can think of SOMETHNG!!! You think I'm nuts don't you? well you would want one too if you had 3 crazy salsa dancing lunatics for friends too!!! heehee. Now I am serious about the ideas for a nickname. Oh and I may have found a salsa partner. Hmmmm, am I happy about that or not? I just don't know!!!!!!! I LOVE dancing with the instructor, he is just toooooooo good. And when we are dancing and spinning around the room, I forget for awhile and just enjoy! sigh........ but, all good things must come to an end, or must they??

ok, have to go feed my family...... pork chops tonight...yuck!!! The only way to get Justin to eat it is to tell him it's white steak! hahahaha. But Corey likes them, sooo........

Project 365, week of photos.....

2009-01-18T22:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this week was me playing around with my camera a bit, and my editing. And trying to get the mindset and discipline to do this. So ......... Day 1, lachlan playing lego. He just totally forgot about me. Which I love. Day 2.

Day 3, his little hand.....so cute

Day4. Love this photo of Bella in the snow. You can see all the flakes. I had no idea how to edit this one. So, this is one thing I am hoping to learn.

Day5. Bella reading. Cutest thing ever isn't it. A.....buh buh.......

Day6. Wanted to see how hard it was to take a photo of fire. It's really hypnotizing......Love it!

and Day 7. Saw a spider web today...... frosted over and thought it was too cool to pass up. And I played around with the editing...tried some new things.......

So that was my week. I was good about taking the photos, not so good about posting them on Flickr...heehee. But I am hoping to get better at finding time for all I have to do. But one thing I know, is this is going to be great. I am getting my camera out more. Instead of letting moments pass me by, I run for my camera, and I have a little notebook to write something about the photo, so when I do put together an album, I have a little story to go with it.

So, I am having fun with this!!!!!

2009-01-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

ok, ummmmm, don't know if this is tattletaling....but, ummmmm. Nancy and Kami HIT ME!!!!!!! Well, that was childish and fun. Kinda like the game Leah and I are playing right now! Eh? FUN!! just pretend that right here is a photo of an award. The Fabby Blog Award. So I have been sent a Fabby Blog award..... well, because.....my blog is fabulous of course! heehee (actually it's because I have such good friends...but shhhhh. that's just between you and me) so I have to list 5 addictions ok, sooo 1. I am addicted to stockpiling...books, scrapping supplies...you names it. Even snacks in my pantry 2. Notebooks...I have tons of them, why, for making lists of course. Lists, lists, and more lists 3. My camera, I love it! I must have it! 4. My laptop. I must play with it everyday, several times a day. 5. E-mail and the phone. They are technaically the same thing, cause they allow me to talk, communicate. Which I do too much. I am on my phone literally, shoot, at least 6-8 hours, every day!!! everyday! and I e-mail long, drawn out messages to friends. I love getting e-mails. especially novelish ones!!!! (hint hint) sigh.....love it!

2009-01-16T21:14:00.000-08:00

So, imagine my excitment! I was invited to join Scarletheels CT. I was floored and so flattered. I love her stuff, and what's more, I love Catscrap! They are so talented and the friendliest ladies ever!!! I love it over there. Anyway, I got my first kit to work with!! The colours and elements are fabulous!! so here is the lo I made with it, this time using my actual 365 photo's. haha *wink*

Scarletheels Muse's Return **available now at Catscrap**

Paislee Press mailing labels 3

first 365 photo......scrapped!!

2009-01-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

So I took my first day photo yesterday, and then I scrapped it today!! how about that? see, it's working for me already, yea.!!!! I was hoping it would start to inspire me!!! thanks again to all of my peer pressuring buddies!!!! .....Leah. This is the new Tenderhearted Kit. isn't it gorgeous!! I love the colours and the elements are so awesome. I know I used to many, but I don't care, I had to. stitched in place frames fading emtions V4 life n sprinkles abd that Love, I took from stuck 2 and well altered it! hahaha. now off to grocery shop and look for more inspiration!!

Project 365

2009-01-13T15:43:00.000-08:00

Well.....I'm in. I was thinking....I don't have enough photos! and I am not good at the everyday. I do the photo shoots, but got away from taking my camera with me everywhere!!! But with all the support from my wonderful friends...also in the challenge.......I can't wait to do this. And learn about my camera as well. I can't think of a better way to do it! so today I took a couple. 'Lach, baby, can mama take some pictures of you??' "how come? cause I'm handsome and you can't get enough of me?" Heehee. YUP!!! Isn't it funny how they remember everything we say to them.

talk about concentration!!! Give the boy some lego and a little playdoh.....and he forgets I exist!

I know, I know, what's with the novels you ask????

2009-01-12T18:42:00.001-08:00

I only wish I had a picture to go with this story! So, my 3 belly dancing friends and I joined a salsa class. At the last minute we found out one of us brought their husband and we were like, what is she thinking, they are gonna stick out like a sore thumb(bad analogy, I know) so into the gym we go! and then about 5 mins later, what we later found out was 32 people, came into the room. ahem.....16 women, and 16 men. Umm, yea. so the teacher chicky comes out and says, ok partner up everyone and lets get started. does anyone NOT have a partner???? so I look around, and my friends, yes, my friends had abandoned me!!!!!! they couldn't even look me in the eye!!!!! they were so embarrassed! the 2 other single ladies had partnered up with eachother! it was sooooo funny. So there I stood, hand in the air. ummm, I don't. what a moment! to make matters worse, I was the only one there in yoga pants and bare feet!!!! So the high heels lecture was pretty much directed at me. am I the only one who thinks, learning to dance..... dress comfy................ yoga pants, bare feet! apparently!!! So out comes her dancing partner. Picture, 6 feet tall, Cuban, black hair, blue eyed, slim/ muscular build. be still my beating heart! yep that's right! and who got to dance with him all night?? yep again! I started out a little embarrassed cause when you ballroom, you look into the others face (chest peripherally) and dance and it was a little uncomfortable at first. Until my hips started speaking to him. hahahahahah!!!!! he said, 'ah yes, your hips are speaking to me, let's go!" and off we went, spinning around the floor. He was throwing my arms up around his neck and turning me. I was laughing and breathless. I came home and stayed high for hours. theres nothing like loud latin music, closing your eyes and flying around a dance floor with someone who knows what they are doing! and today.....my hips are speaking to ME. Especially my right buttcheek!! I came home smelling of cologne and told corey all about it. He made this face I don't think I have ever seen! Jealous!!! he was jealous! hahahaha. a little jealousy never hurt anyone right? and now he is seriously considering signing up with me. heehee. I hope he does! next week? me........ this awesome full red skirt I have, and......... my new high heels that I will be buying this week!!!!!!!! I WILL take pictures!!!! GO NOW and sign up for a class, salsa, belly dancing...whatever. It is just.........sigh........the best!!

Do bad things really happen in three's???

2009-01-11T15:15:00.000-08:00

Here are 2 new lo's I did this week. I'n not inlove with them, this scrappers block is killing me!!!! I think once I get out and start shaking the ol booty, my mojo will come back to me. I will post some pics maybe...Salsa tonight and Belly dancing tomorrow!!! When in need of inspiration..go to Therese Rhydstroms Gallery! she is amazing. Actually, Nancy did some killer pages with some of Therese's QP's and they're awesome!!!

I love this pic of Leah and Joseph!!! it's so gorgeous. She looks like she's shining from the inside.

Anyway, I know I didn't do this one justice. And that is NOT a bid for compliments, serious. But I had to do something with it!!!!

and now, for the drama in my life this week, but first a little background. I apologize for the novelishness of this post!!!!!!

ok, you know how they say bad things always happen in three's? Well what if 3 bad things happen, and then, bang....#4??? what does that mean??

Our first posting, was in Chase BC, which is dead centre between Kamloops and Salmon arm. And one night, about 2 years in, my husband got hit head on by a drunk lady in a truck. It was brutal to say the least. But once all was said and done, he was alright. Then, dude comes in to the RCMP office and says, can I speak to constable Eggen? Now it was Corey's day off, but he often went in. And that particular day....he wasn't on duty so of course, no bullet-proof vest! and what happens? drunk dude pulls a sawed off shotgun out from his coat sleeve!!!! but on the way out he pulled the trigger! yea, his shoulder ended up all over the roof of the detachement!! better him than my guy....but still. And all he had to say was, I missed. I'll get you the next time I go duck hunting!! ???

So now we were getting a little worried..... he came face to face with death twice. hmmmm. then 2 more years go by and nothing so we start relaxing, and BAM! He gets hit head on by this young girl with no DL, and breaks his shoulder and needed surgery.....and they told him he was lucky to be alive! ok, so, phew! right. almost died...3 times, we're in the clear!!!!!

So I wake up the other night at 1:30 am. And Corey wasn't home. He's always home by then. So I wait, and you know how you sometimes get a feeling?? Well I knew something was wrong..but it wasn't 'strong' feeling. So I waited it out. He gets home at 4:30 am. He was like sorry, I didn't want to call this late. I said, oh baby, don't worry about, I spent the time dreaming about how I was gonna spend the money. (I'm not heartless, it's a private joke between us, LOL) Some morons took 3 people hostage and had machine guns!! In Prince George!!! Anyway, Corey ends up getting this guy going down the street who didn't look right. man. He had a shotgun and a knife on him and was part of the hostage takers who were going to kill these people. Over what you ask. A $5oo drug debt. yep! so anyway. I guess it was pretty close, there was a struggle. But Corey knew what he was fighting for, and let's just say, dude went down, fast. See, Corey doesn't like me to tell people this...heehee, but he goes for the nuts. He doesn't do the whole macho, fight it out, throwing punches like a man. He says I got a wife and 3 kids man. I am going home tonight. and, dink, right in the nuts.

Anyway, so now I am wondering.....do I start at 1 again, or what????? So that was my drama for the week.

off to dance!!!

2009-01-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

ok! I have been tagged.... by a friend and scrapper, Christelle (scrap en herbe) http://scrapenherbe.blogspot.com/. I am to write 6 *un*interesting things about myself. hmmmm. this will be hard, as I am so interesting...but I will try 1. I love reading 2. I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy 3. I watch a LOT of movies 4. I don't like chocolate (can't stand it really) 5. I spend hours on the phone daily and I have to tag 5 other people 1. Leah 2. Nancy 3. Christine 4. Reyanna 5. Sally

Yes, that is a moon tattoo dead centre on his forhead!

2009-01-07T22:55:00.000-08:00

Well Amanda has come out with a new fading emotions vol.4. and lucky me, I got to work with it. so I did a lo of a pic I took tonight. Sigh.....I just love this boy. He is so precious to me. It's hard to describe but I know you mom's out there all get it! Anyway, here it is... OH! and my favorite part about it.....Leiko's crazy stitch from her retro summer kit?? well, I turned it and it looks like a W!!!! hahaha. I was quite happy about that. I know, I know, but dude...it is cool!!! Taylormade Designs Fading Emotions vol.4 **coming soon to Oscraps** November Rain Papers (blended with other papers from the same kit) aftermath photo clip plain jane staples Leiko Beck a retro summer crazy stitch (alt) tape from Grow kit paislee press/JBrisbois collab fabric stitched heart **coming soon to Oscraps** tracy murphy designs torn photo clip (we are storeytellers) **got this with my gift cert...I won second place in the Hodge Podge challenge. woooooooooot!**

A FREE template and a challenge!!!!! Pailee Press!!

2009-01-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

sigh...my daughter share's many of mine and my mother's traits. And on chirstmas day I took this photo and I noticed.....she has my Mother's smile. So I did a lo on it!!! The journaling reads... I saw this photo and I knew, for as long as I have you, I will never lose her....you have my mama's smile. and I see her evertime you smile I made this lo using Paislee Press Pressplate no13. which, you lucky gals can get for free! Yes!!! she is giving it away along with a challenge on her blog!!!! so head over there and pick it up. There will a random draw just for participating, and one for creativity. So have fun!!! hope to see you there!!!! my credits are as follows..... Paislee Press pressplate 13 Paislee press lines no.7 FeiFei different strokes 1 + 3 Taylormade stitched in place frames + plain jane staples not sure where to go...head over to my blog for the link here is the link..... http://paisleepress.blogspot.com/

2009-01-04T11:19:00.000-08:00

And so the new year starts with....you guessed it! House cleaning! Rearranging and such. I know I am a geek, but I love moving stuff around. I must move my couches and thing around, well enough that it annoys my hubby. He always says coming he home he never knows what to expect! good thing I can do them on my own too! otherwise, it would take forever. AND, I cleared out my scrap room. My pride and joy. I worked so hard on that room. shelving and I built my own ribbon shelf...sigh. I think I may have liked getting it ready more than I liked scrapping. But it's gone. Put away. (actually, my friends are lining up to buy it all, cause I have more unopened stuff than a store!) seriously, I have gotten 4 calls this morning, and I only told one person! Yesterday. hahaha. so now it will be my digi scrapping room. Which means I can find a really comfy reading chair so I can have my books in there too. Maybe I will turn it into a computer/library room! WooooHoooo! now I am really excited. And we are clearing out the spare room and making it into a toy room, cause I am tired of toys all over the house. Tired of picking up toys ALL the time. And my guys pointed out, I have my own playroom.................and they have just as many ideas as I usually have. They want the walk in closet to be a store...and then they want Bella's play house in there, and we have a slide castle that will fit in this corner!!!!! Who do they take after??? oh, right (sheepish grin) ..heehee, that would be me. So I am off to do these things and then school tomorrow..... xoxo

It is with both aniticipation and dread that I ring inthe new year.

2009-01-01T08:03:00.000-08:00

sigh......today is the first day of 2009. I spent the week in limbo, in both dread and anticipation of today. What will this year bring?? I learned a harsh lesson this year. Life does not stop for heartache. Even when I can't eat for days because devastaion is gnawing away at my stomach, and I shower twice a day just so I can cry and not admit it, even to myself. I smile and run errands, chat with the other mom’s at school. All the while on the inside I am crying. Sometimes a tear or two will slip past my defenses and I quickly wipe it away and continue on. I fear someone will see my sadness, maybe I even hope they will... but no one sees past the smiles and laughter to what is inside. All I can do really is to take comfort in the knowledge that this will pass. Isn’t that the truth? Time heals. There is comfort in that. I have never suffered a loss, didn’t even know you could grieve this way unless you lost someone you love. But you can...I am. I am grieving deeply the loss of something essential to me. And so it is with bittersweet anticipation I greet the new year. It hasn't been all bad. I have made new friends. Some who have brightened days that were soooo dark. And I am so very grateful for that. I am grateful for the outlet of scrapping. Putting my soul into a page. I am grateful for the opportunities that have come my way this year. I am grateful that at heart I will always be an optimist!!! It is not in my nature to dwell in the bad. It is my nature to love, smile, and laugh. So this year comes new insight and with it I intend to learn whatever lesson it is I am meant to learn.......... looking back on 2008, it was, I think, the hardest I have ever had to endure. But it came with many rewards also. So Happy New Year ! This was such a hard post to publish. Honesty, or soul baring is one of the scariest things, knowing it will be read, even by a few. We all try to hide our insecurities and pain, even from those we are close to. I wish it didn't need to be that way. We all need someone, and some of us don't have it in the form of close friends because of whatever our circumstances. A few years ago we moved to a town, small enough to be friendly, but small enough also where most have grown up together and don't want to add to their list of friends, Too much time and energy to invest. So while I have many friends, I have none I would confide in. I know that is true of many of us. So if nothing else comes from this post, just know you are not alone, in whatever it may be. My new years resolution......to smile and laugh again, daily, from my heart, like I always did before. So this year that is my journey.

It's official!! Paislee Press baby!!!

2008-12-29T18:35:00.000-08:00

I am sooo happy!!!! I'm in baby!! Ct for Paislee Press!!! I dunno, does it get any better than this? Ct for Kami, Taylormade and Paislee Press. They are all so wonderful! I love their designs, so now I can make pages I love, with kits and papers and elements I love. (and it's all free.....eeeek!) And all with a wonderful group of gals. Here are a couple of lo's I've done recently.

Credits this lo was inspired by PP press plate no11 Kami Little darling kit and alpha (available at A chery on top) FeiFei To Save frame got dirt Vinnie Pearce All natural buttons Taylormad stitches (extracted from S&S frames)

PP Zippy Hippy papers press lines scroll from Oscraps big collab (alt glitter Tmd november rain glitter) Tmd frame Shine On kit Syrin stitches (catscrap)

Paislee Press Plate no12

Ecologie papers

FeiFei different strokes

I often pray........

2008-12-27T17:29:00.000-08:00

I just love this lo of my Justy and I. We are so much alike......sigh. I love that boy! We pray every night at bedtime and around once a week or so, he thanks God that He gave him to me out of all the other mama's out there. I often pray the same thing. So that's what inspired this lo. When I saw that love rope/word by Vinnie Pearce, I saw this lo in my head. It just had the right feel. credits go to: PP philosophie papers Fei got dirt Tmd shine on frame Vinnie pearce all natural kit, flowers, bird cage, love

2008-12-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

Sigh.......my poor Isabella. Why do things happen to the most wonderful children....she is being bullied at school BUT the thing is, it's not your regular form of bullying. In fact I didn't reconize it until another mom was in the classroom a few times and gave me a magazine article from Parents Magazine to read. I was shocked and upset and then somewhat relieved. You see, Bella has been having a hard time with her school work. She's in grade 1. And it was surprising to me. But as time has been going on and her teacher is saying she needs to work harder, I started wondering what the heck has been going on??? Cause at home she knows it and has no problems. So I requsted a meeting. It seems Bella is shy and self-conscious......and has no confidence. WHAT!!????!!!! MY Isabella???? I thought, who on earth is she talking about. If you have ever seen any page I have done of her...well she is an exhibitionist!!! Heehee. Always posing and making faces and smiling! Turns out her little friend is very possesive and has convinced her that no one will be her friend and has been alienating her. I had a good cry after I read that article. It just all made sense. And then.....I got ANGRY!!! So now, I am going to write a letter to out principal and her new teacher,( because in the midst of all of this, our teacher quit) Argh!!!!! And we are going to figure this out. How does a 5 year old become a master manipulator in the first place???? So now I will be spending a whole lot of time in my daughters classroom, which the previous teacher didn't allow. And we will see. There is a lesson here, I am sure of it. I just don't know what it is yet....... so anyway, I scrapped it. As all of you scrappers know, it is just so much cheaper than traditional therapy! hehehe. This lo is from Leiko Beck's kit GROW!! with stitches from Taylormades Fallen Sun and a stamp from PP/Jcrowley zippy hippy kit Thanks for listening.....

Thank you for this inspiration!!!

2008-12-14T10:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, so we all make friends here online....faceless friends who come to mean a great deal to us. Yesterday a friend of mine pm'd me. Just a short note to see how I was. There is really no way she could have known the feeling that pm gave me or the smile it would put on my face...it was her being her sweet thoughful self. BUT it had a huge impact on me. And in effect....everyone who came into contact with me yesterday!! LOL!!! I read on creashens blog, (she is a designer over at Catscrap) http://creashens.typepad.com/ she said 'just smile...you can really hear a difference in your voice'. And it's true, I ended up inadvertantly testing it out yesterday, at Walmart!! Haha. I tried very hard to remember it while I was standing at the checkout for 45 mins cause walmart had 5 tills open and 500 people in the lines!!! And Justin kept asking me, why are you smiling????? and Isabella would look at me every now and then, and get a serene smile on her face, because if I wasn't impatient, then she didn't need to be....heehee. Yes, I took my three children to Walmart yesterday in the crowds...for what?? I don't remember! credits: Taylormade 'Shine On' papers, elements, frame Paislee Press Vintage snowflakes all available at Oscraps

2008-12-07T11:57:00.001-08:00

This my latest lo! I seem to scrap in 3's. I loved these new frames, and when I saw the fading emotions word art, I knew they were both going to make a home on this page. I got to scrap a favorite picture of mine. sigh....I wish I could go back to that moment.....oh well. There will be many more to come! Credits - paper Emacipation Fei/Lbd Adorened frames FeiFei Fading emotions 3 Tmd *coming soon to Oscraps* Flowers rough draft FeiFei different strokes FeiFei ( i think I amy be addicted to these right now...) These are pics of Lachlan at 2 with this little brown bear he named 'care bear'. He was so cute and angelic with his long hair.......sigh. credits Vintage papers Leiko Beck designs November rain frame Taylormade different strokes FeiFei simple expressions 2 Lbd flowers rough draft FeiFei

2008-12-06T11:29:00.000-08:00

So this is my first lo as a CT for Kreations by Kami!! Thank you Kami for this opportunity!!!! I took some pics in the snow yesterday, and today.........I scrapped. I love this paper, LOVE IT!! I love the textures and the grungy feel around the edges...LOVE IT! Anyway, Lachlan is sooo photogenic, and I love this picture of him. Expect more......especially with this paper!!! Thanks again, Kami for this wonderful opportunity. This kit, Down to Earth by KBK can be found at acherryontop.com Happy scrapping y'all!!! LOL!!!